Man invents time machine, travels 20 seconds backwards in time.

Funny story written by VWVonHagen

Thursday, 21 March 2019

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Dave Bennet, Utah, admits that he “could have made more” of his degree in theoretical physics, after he succeeded in sending himself backwards in time by twenty seconds last week.

“Yeah, a lot of people are asking me "was it worth it?" I got to go back in time by 20 seconds by hitting all the buttons on the console at random. I can’t work out which buttons i pressed, and in which order. And, to be honest, I don’t want to do it again. I could end up somewhere terrible, like the Middle Ages.”

How does life differ in the time twenty seconds ago that Dave beamed himself to?

“Everything’s the same! It’s really hard to describe. I am in the same house, and everything looks exactly the same. The weather is the same, the same TV programme is on, my wife still complains about the size of the room. It feels all exactly the same as when I teleported, except everything feels unexplainably different in some eerie way. It’s funny because, when I think of the life I left behind in the future to travel back here, I don’t feel any nostalgia for it. I’ve moved on!”

What does Dave’s wife think?

“He’s always lived in the past. ‘Remember when I took that bath?’ Stuff like that. At least he’s shut down the future as an option, because he’s travelled back from it. "Next year, I will have all this money,” he says. I don’t have to listen to that anymore. He’s so wowed with himself about his experience. I think he will be sitting at home wowing himself forever about it.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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