Trump Nominates Deceased Chess Genius Bobby Fischer To Supreme Court

Funny story written by VWVonHagen

Saturday, 23 March 2019

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Chess

Washington. The White House refused to comment on reports that Trump is set to nominate deceased chess genius Bobby Fischer to the Supreme Court. Trump apparently doesn’t feel there is any difficulty presented in nominating Fischer, who died in 2008 and is currently buried in Iceland, describing coroner’s reports, death certificates and statues in Fischer’s honor as “fake news”. It is believed officials will obtain a DNA sample, clone a new Bobby Fischer then use actors portraying his mother, Soviets, the CIA and nebbish New York intellectuals in order to recreate stressful situations in his life which will result in him developing a resentment of humanity and an obsession with conspiracy theories, traits that recent Supreme Court appointees have all demonstrated. It is also hoped that his extreme beliefs, belligerent personality and mistrust of women will make the current bench a welcome environment for him

Democrats are outraged, seeing it as the latest attempt by Trump, following on the appointments of Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh, to stack the Supreme Court with any crackpot who will do the bidding of the Republican Party for decades to come.

Bobby Fischer became a recluse after winning the World Chess Championship in 1972 although his pamphlet “I Was Tortured In The Pasadena Jailhouse” was considered a major work of jurisprudence by Antonin Scalia who thought it superior to the Bill Of Rights.

One Republican insider was jubilant: “Bobby Fischer is perfect for this role. Clarence Thomas, it could be argued, is dead inside. Plus Fischer’s theories about the Soviets reading people’s thoughts by using radio receivers implanted in their teeth is all very mild stuff compared to what Gorsuch and Kavanaugh believe.” The fact that Fischer developed a persecution complex against the United States also makes him perfect for the Supreme Court role, according to White House sources.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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