British Public Turns On Suarez Again, Again

Funny story written by VWVonHagen

Thursday, 26 June 2014

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Luis Suarez

London. The latest controversy involving Scouse hero Luis Suarez at the world cup in Brazil has led to an unprecedented deluge of condemnatory emails and letters to the country's newspapers here are just a sample.

W Rooney, Manchester: "Ban him from England. I'm off to get another hair transplant."

Robert Charlton, Manchester "I don't like him he's a disgrace in my day we would have banned him from football in England. That was before Bill Shankly of course." (Starts sobbing).

M Carrick of Old Trafford Manchester writes: "Suarez shoud be banned from all competitions for 2 years a total ban on him playing football for club or country but preferably club. Harsh but fair."

Sir A Ferguson also of Manchester "My brief was to knock Liverpool of their effin perch and you can effin well print that."

R Giggs "Wales" (allegedly) "Oooh I don't like that Suarez, he's dead nast-eh he should be banned from England."

P Scholes, Manchester, England "Is there anyway we can ban Suarez from playing in the Premier League again? We could ask the government to stop him getting back in. It's for the good of the game."

G Neville, Bury "He's gone too far this time again. I think whatever club he's at should be dead banned from the Premier League."

P Neville, Bury "I agree with G Neville."

D De Gea Manchester "I swear I thought I paid for it I just forgot."

D Welbeck "I also think Sturridge, Henderson and Sterling should be banned."

C Smalling "Ban him and Liverpool football club from the Premier League he's dead nast-eh."

T Cleverly, Manchester "Ooh he scores a wight lot of dead good goals against us.. Eh sorr-eh I meant to say bites folk."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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