A man who has been suffering from some kind of virulent Asian 'flu for more than three weeks now, has admitted that, despite taking various medicines to lower the fever, provide pain relief, and to loosen the breathing-restrictive matter on his lungs...
It's been reported by a Neighbourhood Community Vigilante Action Group in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, that a family on the city's Woodhouse Estate have already put up Christmas decorations outside their house - despite there still being more than 362...
As 2019 slowly, but surely, approaches its conclusion, and we get ever nearer to another new year, it's been noticed that next year - 2020 (twenty-twenty) - will contain the individual digits' lowest total since nine years ago, in 2011. It will al...
While not opposed to celebrating baby Jesus’s birthday, six-year-old Liam Fitzpatrick of St. Augustine, Florida, stated that, overall, he prefers Santa Claus to Jesus. “With Santa Claus, I get to make a whole list, and I usually get a lot of what...
Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...
You wouldn't have thought he'd have been short of a bob or two, but that's the impression several people have been given tonight, after Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, announced that he is to leave his Christmas-present shopping un...
Santa Claus, the maker of children's dreams the world over every year on December 25th, is on the verge of creating a huge controversy this festive season, after it was revealed he is tired, overworked, and considering sending in a sick note. Sant...
News is just now emerging that Christmas, the Christian festival that supposedly marks the birth of Jesus the Son of God, and is now celebrated around the world by giving each other various unwanted gifts, is coming. If this wasn't bad enough, the...
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Fath...
With the Christmas channel seemingly starting to broadcast films from mid-March, they have a serious number of hours to film with cheap, made-for-television films. It can be a lucrative market, particularly if it is shown during the day in November,...
The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...
The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d…
Hello, I am Brian Asshat, esquire of the parish of Chutney on The Fritz, protector of the English language, spotter of trains, and bell ringer, and I have just one question for you: Are you excited at the Archer's Pantomime this year? I am not...
Manchester United have announced full details of their Christmas and New Year celebrations, with the highlight being the MUFC Christmas Service to be held outside Old Trafford on Sunday, 22 December, and which will be presided over by central defende...
Premier League strugglers, Manchester United, have revealed details of their new special festive edition strip, which, it's hoped, will produce enough sales to swell their coffers sufficiently to buy some more new players. The kit, which has more...
There was good news for the shopping public of Manchester today, when it was announced that Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, would be appearing 'in person' in the city centre on Thursday, 14 November, to switch the city's Christ...
Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United signing who seems to be able to do just about anything everything he puts his hand to, has been made the bookmakers' favourite to reach number 1 in the UK charts at Christmas. This is astonishing news - eve...
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