After putting on a convincing performance earlier in the loss against the Arizona Cardinals Sunday afternoon, Jay Cutler realized he just isn't that good and took a dive immediately after throwing a pick-6. The humiliation of making another glaringl...
With China's market crash having an effect on the US Stock Exchange even the wealthiest of "1%" are feeling the pinch. Take, for example, Jeffrey Van Thornhurst, CEO of Takyour Financial Inc. who has felt a very direct personal impact due to the mon...
Donald Trump's inexplicable hair has decided to put its notoriety to good use, and ride that exposure to the second highest seat in the land. Donald Trump has declared that, "The only thing on the planet audacious enough to meet my Vice Presidential...
King Reximus Purfectus, a native lion of Zimbabwe, has recently come under heavy scrutiny for what has been described as "unfair hunting procedures". King Rex, as he is know by the locals, has been accused of luring unsuspecting American hunters wit...
With a beauty product supply shortage gripping the west coast, actor, Tom Selleck has been accused of pilfering large amounts of beauty aids to help him maintain his stunningly unchanged appearance. A helicopter that looks alarmingly similar to...
After suffering through failure after failure to utilize real money to keep their country's economy from complete collapse, Greece has decided to make the switch to fake money to ease their economic woes. After a great deal of pressure from the...
After a non stop barrage of natural disasters has made climate change deniers look like ninnies, several high profile culprits have started changing their tunes. Although, not everyone is ready to completely commit to the problem. Jim DeMint, Pre...
A recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine has concluded that every activity you perform brings you one step closer to death. DR David Katz published an article that suggests that nobody has really discovered the perfect healt...
After watching the perennially criticized M. Knight Shayamalan film "The Happening" trees have been attempting to replicate the effects on humans from the movie, but thus far have only gotten some people to sneeze and cough a lot. Mountain cedar...
Militant Islamist group, ISIS released a statement this morning claiming responsibility for acts that will certainly interrupt your daily routine. "We will strike you when you least expect it, when you are most vulnerable, when you are still rubbi...
An army of hive minded killer robots have their work cut out for them as they plan to wipe humanity off the face of the earth. Early reports suggest that although they far outnumber any potential human resistance their chances of succeeding appear t...
Adding to the growing list of franchise names running for President, Ronald McDonald announced his campaign for the highest office in the land. When asked why he would make such a move, the clown responded, "I figured with the other candidates tha...
In a stunning announcement, God, the creator of all things, admitted that dinosaur bones are really just "gag props" that he created in the soil for us to find. "Sorry if I just spoiled your childhood" God said with a chuckle. Asked why he...
Senator Marco Rubio, known for his lack of scientific training, was quoted as using the disclaimer for what might end up being one too many times. Rubio has been quoted as using "I am not a scientist" in response to the following questions: "...
North Korean Dictator, King Jong Un has declared war on the United States, after what was reported in KCNA as "a continued, flagrant disregard for the increased demand for hair gel in recent weeks mostly due to the peoples' desire to emulate their be...
Building upon the great success of Starbucks' Race Together campaign, a rival coffee house has unveiled their new concept of "Defend Your Position". "What we found out very quickly is that people already have very set opinions on a great many sub...
In what is either a publicity stunt or a desperate desire to find a very qualified clip board holder the Eagles tried out Tim Tebow despite the fact that they just traded for Sam Bradford and re-signed Mark Sanchez. Jeffrey Lurie, owner of the P...
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