The Duke and Duchess of Sussex stunned the media and royal watchers alike last night, when they made the joint announcement that they are stepping away from their royal duties to form a tag wrestling duo that will compete in the resurgent British pro...
A 25-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she felt angry and cheated after being diagnosed with bubonic plague, despite having adopted a vegan lifestyle 6 months previously. Tracy Dell, a legal secretary,...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local paper that he has fallen deeply in love with a small green suction hook given to his wife as a gift and that he won't rest until he has made the item his for all eternity. Toby Dell, a carpet-fitter f...
According to a recent report, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people over 60 who are sending their grandchildren to bed early so that they can have sex on the sofa. With many parents using their own mothers and fathers to take car...
A government financial body has urged the royal household to kerb excessive spending as it was revealed that the Queen, accompanied by Prince Philip, spent £13.75 last Saturday night in a local pub close to Sandringham where the couple are spending t...
A 24-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has been found guilty of murder in a Greek court of law, after she shot her partner 6 times before decapitating his body and tossing his head out of a window in their apartment on the idyllic isle o...
In a surprise move, soccer legend, David Beckham, has revealed that, when Prince Philip dies, he will divorce his wife, Victoria, and marry the widowed monarch, as long as he is crowned King as part of the deal. Speaking to Men's Health magazine,...
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel, in East London, felt an overwhelming sense of hope and joy after a spam email he opened in the early hours of Boxing Day contained the promise of lasting relief from the misery of toenail fungus. Toby Dell, a me...
Leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is set to spend his 12th successive Christmas struggling to get the lid off a jar of chilli and onion chutney that his wife bought in 2006, to go with the cold meat and mashed potatoes on Boxing Day.
Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, told newsmen last night that defeated Opposition Leader, Jeremy Corbyn, attacked him in a House of Commons lavatory last week, leaving him bruised and bleeding from a gaping head wound. Johnson, who had just delivere...
Her Majesty the Queen last night launched an astonishing attack on the popular comedy series, Mrs Brown's Boys, calling it, 'banal, infantile, and 'a real piece of deeply unfunny shit.' Talking to the BBC's Royal Correspondent, Nicholas Witchell,...
Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl grows apace. A 54-year-old man has told a local newspaper that the new washing-up bowl that his wife was given by a friend, has grown exponentially in his affections, and is now his most h...
A government source revealed, last night, that every man, woman, and child over the age of 5 living in the north of England will be gifted a whippet dog as a token of gratitude for helping Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, win last week's election with...
A 55-year-old Roman Catholic man from Whitechapel in East London has decided that it's perfectly acceptable to deliver a thumbs-up gesture towards the altar prior to the Solemn Latin Mass instead of the customary genuflection, which would involve ben...
There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night, after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man found himself salivating during a trip to his local Lidl supermarket, as he fantasised about scything down a noisy family in the shop with an old fashioned Tommy Gun. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, had to wipe...
A 63-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that she lost her virginity to Thunderbird 2 pilot, Virgil Tracy, weeks after starting a job as a cleaning lady at the International Rescue HQ, Tracy Island in 1967. Mary Terry, a wi...
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