The UK government has declared Mars British territory after NASA confirmed rainwater has been found on its surface. British PM David Cameron made the announcement this morning in London. "Good morning, God Bless the Queen, her corgis and Prince Ch...
Swiss Authorities today announced a criminal investigation into corrupt actvities by Sepp Blatter (known variously as 'The Don', "'Sepp The Tongue'and 'Sepptic'", the President of world soccer governing body FIFA. From his heavily fortified famil...
Campaigning for gay rights in Russia, Elton John, has gone public and requested a very private meeting with mega-macho-hetero-President Putin! Putin replied in his typical stern, diplomatic manner; "Dear Elton, I have a perfect idea where you c...
Vladimir Putin has been granted Russia's most prestigious civil award, the Stalin Truth Award. The Stalin Truth Award recognises Russians who most consistently don't tell the truth. The Award Panel, coincidentally comprising 7 members of Mr Putin's f...
The thing about the greatest performing artists of all is that they never, EVER gave up. Regardless of practical setbacks, ridicule and open hostility, figures of the calibre of Ravi Shankar, Beethoven, Mick Jagger, the singers of "Moves like Jagger," Rihanna… Not to mention respected (sorry, respectable… no I mean, petty-bourgeois) protest guitarist Tony Blair… These have all consistentl...
Research archives have revealed that in 1990 Vladimir Putin legally changed his surname from Cutein to Putin. Born as Vladimir Cutein, Vladimir decided that his name would be unsuitable for politics. Pictures from Vladimir's past have also be...
Washington, DC Washington officials today announced that they have discovered that Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un have each threatened to nuke the other country if they did not release ballplayers critical to the other's fantasy baseball team. The fi...
'Moscow - President Vladimir Putin is shooting up doses of One-Shot-Miracle-Drainbusta fluid to put lead back in his pencil a Kremlin handwriting expert said today. Flagging testosterone levels and a plummeting Rouble had seen Vlad lose his 'Impal...
Republican politicians claim Hillary Clinton had a love connection with Osama Bin Laden and define her as a serial traitor. High five! They insist this information can be verified in the 31,000 emails exchanged while she was Secretary of State and why she is holding fast to that server. Reliable sources revealed Hillary was in the process of divorcing Bill to marry Osama Bin Laden, (or...
Lugano, Switzerland - The Russian president has been spotted lecturing at the Happy Bye-Byes euthanasia clinic symposium about end-of-days solutions for political foes. Putin is thought to be negotiating a termination package for rival Kremlin mob...
Punishments for crime have become rote in our modern society. A person can murder any number of people and still be allowed to live his life out even though he is less that worthless to the society which allows him to survive. Monsters on the international level can create atrocities for which they are not condemned. Irresponsible pundits appear on the world stage who wreck havoc with in their own...
After a lengthy ten hour investigation pursuing thousands of clues, tips and accusations, Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin announced that the former Deputy Prime Minister under Boris Yeltsin, Boris Nemtsov, committed suicide by shooting himself...
Moscow - An official Kremlin obit posted today described the politician's death as a four-bullet back-of-the-head tragedy, a classic 'suicide' in KGB terms. Commenting on Russian breakfast TV Vladimir Putin looked tearful and borderline sincere a...
Your fearless reporter has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days. It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an exclusive interview, especially since he is not allowed to enter the U.S. We had to do the Interview on his exclusive 300 foot yacht off the Crimea coast. rfreed- "Good day,...
Instagram has repeatedly removed Chelsea Handler's breasts--or photos of them, to be exact--from its site on the grounds that the comedienne's mammary glands constitute "indecent exposure." However, Handler has finally found an adm...
BILLINGSGATE POST: German Chancellor Angela Merkel performed a dominatrix hat trick on willing participant Barack Obama as Vladimir Putin watched on with bemused interest. With the fate of Ukraine hanging in balance, President Barack Obama allowed...
Bond villain Vladamir Putin has been announced in the new line-up of the upcoming action movie sequel 'the Expendables 4'. Mr Putin, who is said to be 'thrilled' at getting the part, was announced as one of the stars of the new film by actor and p...
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