Washington, DC Washington officials today announced that they have discovered that Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un have each threatened to nuke the other country if they did not release ballplayers critical to the other's fantasy baseball team. The fight began when each insisted the other had to take Alex Rodriguez.
Citizens of both citizens cower in fear, praying for a quick end to baseball season. A citizen of Moscow declared, "It wouldn't be so bad if Putin wasn't as clueless about running a ball team as he is about running a country." When reporters went back to clarify his statement, neighbors stated that he had disappeared over a week ago and no one had heard from him since then.
A citizen of Pyongyang, North Korea also stated that they wished that Kim Jong Un would pay half as much attention to running the country as he did to running his fantasy baseball leagues. When the reporters went back to get another statement from the citizen, they couldn't help but notice him hanging from a rope in the town marketplace.
It was after barely escaping from North Korea that the reporters decided not to pursue the story any further.