Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton Connection Suspected In Emails

Written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 16 March 2015

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"I'm standing on my emails."

Republican politicians claim Hillary Clinton had a love connection with Osama Bin Laden and define her as a serial traitor.

High five!

They insist this information can be verified in the 31,000 emails exchanged while she was Secretary of State and why she is holding fast to that server.

Reliable sources revealed Hillary was in the process of divorcing Bill to marry Osama Bin Laden, (or 'Mama' as she frequently called him) but she refused to wear the eyes-only burka and he was left at the alter.

More specifically, she was overheard yelling, (while climbing down Tora Bora) "I didn't lose all this weight just to hide my size 4 figure in some freaking burka."

Then there was the fishing weekend she spent with Vladimir Putin!

Putin? Really?

He originally invited Bill, but she quickly nixed that, saying Bill was sick. After the fishing was over, they raced to see who could scale, gut and fillet a fish faster. Hillary completed the task before Putin was able to maneuver his slippery catch up onto the butcher's table. She explained that she spent a summer gutting fish in Alaska and held the state record for cleaning an eight-foot shark in 57 seconds.

Hands up. Step away from the table!

That was the end of that romance. However, they continue to email...

Then there were her old lipstick tubes she gave to the Iranians that were stretch out and made into centrifuges and used for processing nuclear energy. She received $2.50 a tube and contributed it to the Clinton Foundation.

The 31,000 emails promise to be filled with the same subversive information and the Republicans want to swift boat Hillary Clinton before she announces her candidacy. Bingo!

Republicans also hint the emails will reveal that Mrs. Clinton hid all the weapons of mass destruction that were in Iraq, making it appear George Bush invaded Iraq for nothing! Hillary is the real reason the Middle East is a mess with ISIS, the Sunnis and Shiites. Can't blame George. It's all Hillary's fault. Proof is in the emails.

Hands up. Step away from the table.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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