MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Vlady Putin knows that he truly fucked up by invading Ukraine, as is evidenced by the fact the Ukraine is kicking Putty's communist ass all over creation.
The leader of Russia, who is now about as popular as expired Vodka, is having migraine headaches that cause him to hallucinate and make him believe that he is the new Adolf Hitler, minus the cocksucker tiny mustache, of course.
One of Putin's girlfriend's even noted that he hasn't had an erection since the illegal, evil invasion of the Ukraine.
Putin, is of course denying the headaches, the non-erections, and even the fact that his new texting buddy Melania Trump has dumped his invasionatory ass, like a toddler dumping his peas on the kitchen floor. ■
