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Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

Funny story: Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

The Daily Telegraph was once a serious newspaper but is now reduced to having a front page spread featuring a serial liar and idiot. Monday's edition had emblazoned upon it Bozo Johnson's self-satisfied face as he once again trotted out his usual gu...

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Candid Photos of a Naked Daniel Craig Pumping Iron Leaked On Line

Funny story: Candid Photos of a Naked Daniel Craig Pumping Iron Leaked On Line

James Bond star Daniel Craig is said to furious after naked photographs of him pumping Iron were leaked onto the internet. The photos, apparently taken with a high powered lens, show the actor sweating while totally nude at his home in Los Angeles.

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This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

Funny story: This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

We have lost our bloody way as a nation we have. Our country has become infiltrated by joyless snobbish lefties, filthy immigrants, rampant homosexuals who are up for anything and miserable and fat feminists. What happened to the good old days innit? The good old days of Only Fools and Horses, Rolf Harris, Rod Stewart, The National Front, It It Ain't Half Hot Mum, New Faces, Jim'll Fix It, Dav...

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Man Who Donated Heavily To A Sperm Bank Keeps Running Into His Kinfolk

Funny story: Man Who Donated Heavily To A Sperm Bank Keeps Running Into His Kinfolk

Lancashire, U.K. - In a story that can only be seen in light of that old adage, reversed, 'What comes a round, goes around,' a German expatriate living as a civil servant in Britain, Helmut Heins, has claimed to have fathered over 10,000 children thr...

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Colin Wanker following Joey Barton on Twitter

Funny story: Colin Wanker following Joey Barton on Twitter

QPR manager Neil Warnock has gone 'underground' to monitor his players off-the-field activities. "I have signed up on Twitter using an anagram and I am analysing their tweeted conversations without them knowing" revealed Colin Wanker. Warnock has...

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On Eve of Kate Middleton's Wedding to Prince William: Most Brits Admit They Still Wank off To Henry Tudor

Funny story: On Eve of Kate Middleton's Wedding to Prince William: Most Brits Admit They Still Wank off To Henry Tudor

In a quick survey of British citizenry 65% admitted that they still fantasize about Henry Tudor while masturbating. Kate Middleton came in a distant second at 12% followed by the late George III, also known as "Mad" King George. The survey reporte...

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Australia Names its "Wanker of the Year"

Magazine Ralph has controversially called food handling tough - but popular - Australian food critic at the top of its annual 100 "Wankers" list, Master Chef judge Matt Preston was ejaculated for being "pompous" - though you could add every curse kno...

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Zeta Jones Goes Topless To Appease Terminally Ill Tosser

Funny story: Zeta Jones Goes Topless To Appease Terminally Ill Tosser

In her tireless quest for charitable works, human decency, and one eye on the publicity machine, Catherine Zeta Jones, wife of that old guy actor who was in 'The Streets Of San Francisco' on TV before starring in 'Romancing The Stone' on the silver s...

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Blair For EU President - Bid Stopped In Tracks When He Realised That Cherie Is In The Deal

Funny story: Blair For EU President - Bid Stopped In Tracks When He Realised That Cherie Is In The Deal

Very soon, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom will be able to breathe a sigh of relief as the burden of monarchy is lifted from her ageing shoulders. For there is to be a new Head of State in the person of Anthony (Tony) Blair, when he becom...

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Wanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012

Funny story: Wanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012

The noble art of masturbation is amongst a number of proposed events to be considered for inclusion by the 2012 Olympic games in Britain. Wanking is believed to be the most popular pastime amongst males between the ages of 13 to 99 - with female p...

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Professional Wanker Loses Sight

Funny story: Professional Wanker Loses Sight

Professional masturbator Jack Orff suffered permanent eye damage today after a marathon wanking session. The ugly computer programmer was going at it in the bedroom for over 6 hours straight in preparation for the World Wanking Championships, whic...

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Man Dies After Wank in Bath

Funny story: Man Dies After Wank in Bath

A 42 year old man from Dudley in the West Midlands died earlier today after having a wank whilst in the bath. After his bath he popped down to his local newsagents and was instantly killed as he stepped out in the path of a lorry whilst attempting...

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J. K. R. Interferes With Wanking Wizard

Funny story: J. K. R. Interferes With Wanking Wizard

J.K.R. the creator of blockbusting fantasy wizard superstar; Harry Potter, is today desperately trying to stop the release of a blue movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe plays the part of a Wizard who's party trick is, well...wanking. But...

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Masturbation=Bad??

Funny story: Masturbation=Bad??

That's right people. A new study by the institute of Pointless Research has found that every time a person masturbates, they in fact, manage to kill a kitten. The study took 70 people, male and female, randomly kidnapped from the street and had...

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Teen Meets Carson Daly, Realizes He's a Dick

After waiting in the cold New York Winter for nearly three hours 16 year-old Kristin Myers finally was invited up to the prestigous TRL Studio. "It was really cold that day and my friend Jenny and I were super-excited when they told us we could g...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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