Klurkoff, Poland - Just when you think that it might be difficult to find even the slightest glimmer of a sliver lining to the Ukraine terror, Polish single dudes living anywhere near the Ukraine border are over the moon right now!
Slakov Kawolski, 38, is a single guy that lives in the next border town of Wyzckrfvc. He told us, "My town is all of a sudden full of beautiful Ukrainian women of all ages, and theres no men around in sight. I bought so many drinks last night, I can't even remember! Wow, what a night!"
"And they all needed a place to stay!" Added his work buddy, whose name was too complicated to understand.
Slakov said he felt bad for kicking everyone out the next morning, but he was a plumber and couldn't take the day off to keep partying. "We really hope we meet all those same women again tonight. But we see which way lady luck is rolling dice, I guess."
Slakov said he also felt bad for the war, it was a real shame. He even took a bag of old clothes to the border, and showed an old man the best place to take a dump in the bushes, as he has done while stumbling home many times before.
"But, God has shined this amazing ray of light on me and my buddies and we accept his offerings gracefully! I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed about something like this happening. It's every single guys dream. What a blessing."
He meant it too. We met up with Slakov again at the sausage n' coffee shop in town the next day, same story. "We all took home like 5 chicks again last night!" fist-bumped our cologned border stud. "I got buddies coming in from Swikmevk and Zambycxz tonight. You should come party. We got house boat to show the girls tonight. It's gonna be getting crazy times!"
It would be rude of us not to, right?
Party on.
