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Funny satire stories about drinking

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Funny story: A Bar in Georgia Changes Its Name to the C-19 Good Old Boy Lounge

A Bar in Georgia Changes Its Name to the C-19 Good Old Boy Lounge

SAVANNAH, Georgia – The owner of one of the biggest bars in the city of Savannah has just changed its name. Charlotte Silverwater, who is owner of The Dixie Belle Bar & Grill, informed the news media that she has decided to open her saloon doo...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Takes Sobriety Two Days at a Time

Nashville Man Takes Sobriety Two Days at a Time

“I’ve always been kind of an over-achiever,” said Chase Landry of Nashville, Tennessee, who’s been working hard to overcome his issues with alcohol. “The ‘just for today’ concept may work for some people, but I think it’s important to think ahead.”...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year

Nashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year

Frustrated at finding himself yet again scrambling at the end of the year to come up with a New Year's resolution worthy of his sincere intention, Edwin Wallace of Nashville, Tennessee, abandoned the quest for this year, but vowed to come up with a t...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Successfully Operates on Fewer than All Cylinders

Nashville Man Successfully Operates on Fewer than All Cylinders

A big proponent of energy conservation, Hal Bailey, of Nashville, Tennessee, got the chance to put his eco-friendly values into practice, when he successfully operated on fewer than all cylinders after a night of heavy partying. "I got sloppy wast...

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Funny story: Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Despite his best efforts to make better use of himself, Time ended up getting totally wasted - again. "I guess some stuff happened, but I have no clue what," said Time. "I was flying, is about all I can remember. And the seconds got a little slopp...

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Funny story: Rambunctious Whisky Just Can't Sit Distilled

Rambunctious Whisky Just Can't Sit Distilled

His barley roots notwithstanding, Captain Jack, a whisky of Scotch descent from Brown Water, Missouri, is still feeling his oats. "I get antsy," he said. "I just can't sit distilled." Although aged for over a decade, Captain Jack is not willing to...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Ironically Has No Memory of Memorial Day

Nashville Man Ironically Has No Memory of Memorial Day

The week after the holiday honoring Americans who died for their country, Hank Jessup of Nashville, Tennessee, found, ironically, that he had no memory of Memorial Day. “Blank slate,” said Jessup. “I was doing a little drinking.” Jessup explain...

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Funny story: Screaming, Crying, Throwing An Intensely Psychotic Fit, And Drinking Heavily Seen As Possible Methods For Getting Through Writer's Block

Screaming, Crying, Throwing An Intensely Psychotic Fit, And Drinking Heavily Seen As Possible Methods For Getting Through Writer's Block

Wisconsin. The results of a state-wide survey conducted by numerous academic departments within the University-Of-Wisconsin System, indicated that throwing a massive and psychotic fit, screaming at the Moon, crying intensely, and drinking hard liquo...

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Funny story: Family and Community Express Concern Over Man's Lack Of Drinking

Family and Community Express Concern Over Man's Lack Of Drinking

Minnesota. Two years ago, Thomas Steiner made the life-changing decision to quit drinking and to get completely away from alcohol. After years of making poor choices, feeling sick all the time, having numerous health problems, and experiencing the...

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Funny story: Hillary Clinton and I really went on a booze bender for a couple of days!

Hillary Clinton and I really went on a booze bender for a couple of days!

I was driving down Route 94 through Detroit a couple days ago and something that looked like a witch flew out of the shadows and attached itself to my car. "What in the mudder-fried hell?!!!" screamed and thundered through my head. I was scared s...

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Funny story: Man Spends Hours Writing Piece He Knows is Unpublishable

Man Spends Hours Writing Piece He Knows is Unpublishable

34 year old Jamie Gahron spent 3 hours last Thursday night working on an article for an online publisher, knowing just a couple sentences in, that the piece was a wash. But instead of moving on to a different subject Jamie made himself another dr...

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Funny story: Canadian claims disability allowance after sprouting antlers

Canadian claims disability allowance after sprouting antlers

Toronto, Canada - An otherwise healthy 30-something male is claiming state disability handouts after waking one morning to find that he'd grown a pair of antlers on his head. Harley Broomsdork said the 18-inch, Monarch-of-the-Glen-style protrubera...

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Funny story: Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Research is important because the results can be quite revealing. Studies have repeatedly proved that what is taken for granted by common sense turns out to be mistaken. The most famous example is, of course, the shifting from the geocentric to th...

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Funny story: Nevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12

Nevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12

CARSON CITY, NV - Nevada Governor, Brian Sandoval, announced today that Nevada will lower the legal drinking age in Nevada from 21 to 12. The announcement came shortly after Colorado announced that it reaped $2.1 million from marijuana sales in J...

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Funny story: Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

DENVER - Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper has just informed all of the law enforcement departments in the state that no one will be taking vacations the week of Spring Break. The governor stressed that the state is expecting upwards of 6 millio...

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Funny story: Leprechauns are Gearing Up for St. Patrick's Day

Leprechauns are Gearing Up for St. Patrick's Day

BLARNEY, IRELAND - With only one month until Lá Fhéile Pádraig, leprechauns are gearing up for their annual vacation day off. For 364 days a year they are humbler cobblers, but on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, they are allowed to descend on the wor...

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Funny story: Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...

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