Hello there, Raymond Ving here, as you may have guessed. Welcome to yet another article about my life and my experience. I am now well into my 80's, and I have lived a life, I can tell you that for nothing, but my biggest disappointment is m…
Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…
JOLIET, Illinois – (Satire News) – The American Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has just released a list of ten pet products that went on the market, and were almost instantly taken off the market for this reason or that. THE LIST…
D.C - Prez Biden suspended the horses that were involved in the Great Western rodeo roundup of Haitian migrants trying to cross the Texas border last week. Officially, it was the 'use of horses' at the border that got suspended, after viral vide…
TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency reports that a door-to-door flour tortilla salesman in Tombstone, has been arrested for first-degree turtle abuse. Local authorities arrested Derek Simon Sipplovax, 29, for endangering a harmle…
Although he’s a bird, he’s achieved a status in his region that most world leaders can only dream of. Vinny the T (for Turkey) is a constant presence in the North Shore region. While his presence is reassuring to law abiding citizens and conscientiou…
Hello, everyone. It's Tuesday again, and time to delve into that magical box of mysteries that is the Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals! Today, I have selected from the zillions of uninteresting animals available a particularly uninterestin…
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
The dugong is severely uninteresting. Its name is uninteresting; its appearance is uninteresting; and, by God, everything else about it is just as uninteresting - if not more so. For a start, the name 'dugong' has a rather uninteresting ring to it…
A quiet night in front of the TV spent watching a movie was ruined beyond redemption for one family last night, when, in the midst of their viewing, a gruesome impostor invaded their living room, and scared the living daylights out of them. The Ke…
Well, it's Tuesday again, uninteresting animal lovers, and time for another instalment of our once-popular series on uninteresting animals. Before we get to this week's specimen, we'd just like to apologize for the 16-month gap since the last one;…
After the news from Germany that 207 mink farms have been infected with a new strain of Coronavirus, and the concern that the virus may mutate further in other animals, it's been revealed that ALL animals, everywhere, are to be eliminated from the fa…
The world of animal-lovers was in a frenzy of excitement this morning, after it was revealed that, for the last three years, a man from Suffolk has been unaware that a vole had been living in his beard. Ronald Lee, 49, of Ipswich, lives alone in a…
There are some wonderful creatures in the animal kingdom, with all kinds of amazing characteristics, but there can't be too many with a name as strange as the Cockatoo. And now, a woman who is interested in the subject has spoken out. Wendy Sok…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Over 15 years have passed since a couple were viciously attacked by two chimps while celebrating the 39th birthday of their son, Moe, in a California animal sanctuary. It is not a pretty story, but worth revisiting. By all acco…
Hamster, George Smyth the third, has said that he is not looking forward to the return of the kids, whenever that might be. 'Because lockdown happened so quickly, and because the kids couldn't leave the house, no rota has been sorted out for me li…
Animal escapades often make good stories, especially if they have happy endings, but that wasn't the case for one unlucky elk in Canada, this week, when two hunters spotted the poor beast trapped in mud, but decided it was too dangerous to rescue it,...
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