Naked Man Arrested for non-compliance with TSA Guidelines; claims it was just a misunderstanding

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Tuesday, 16 November 2021

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According to his attorney, Frank Towers will claim his arrest at the airport was all "a big misunderstanding"

The Hennepin County Attorney’s Office in Minnesota yesterday filed a complaint against Frank Towers, 44, after the man initiated an altercation with TSA employees. Investigators say the incident happened at the skyway checkpoint early last Friday morning.

According to a TSA spokesperson, Towers had been "quietly minding his own business before the incident". Surveillance video footage showed Towers taking his clothes off and masturbating in an airport lounge before punching and head butting a few terminals for reasons yet unknown. All this happened about an hour before the incident at the checkpoint according to the TSA.

It was after Towers got dressed and approached the TSA checkpoint that the trouble began. Inexplicably, Towers allegedly told one TSA employee that he was going to “kill” them. Officers who were called to the scene gave him commands to stop and move away from the checkpoint, which he did not abide. At that point Towers was tased by police.

Dan Delaney, attorney for Towers, told us his client is a fledgling porn actor who has been under a lot of pressure over the past week. "Frank has had a tough time finding work. But last week he got an opportunity to audition for significant part as an airline pilot. He was only at the airport doing research for the role."

The charges against Towers state that’s when he was tasered, he swung his arms above his head in an attempt to hit an officer. Backup officers took Towers into custody while he continued to fight with them.

He's been charged with disregarding TSA guidelines as well as fourth-degree assault against a police officer. He is currently in custody.

Delaney, his attorney seemed confident that things would work out well for Towers. "When the dust settles I think we'll see this was all just a big misunderstanding."

When Delaney was asked how his client's might act in a porn film with his shabby appearance, he snapped "They take care of all that in Make-Up".

After meeting with his client this morning, Delaney called a press conference to reaffirm his earlier assertion. "This is just one of those unfortunate misunderstandings that got out of hand. Now we're not going to point fingers, but upon further review, I think we'll all see things could have been handled differently. There's plenty of blame to go around, but who wants to play the blame game at this point?"

Delaney then added, "Once people hear the whole story, they will see Mr. Towers' behavior in a whole new light. As it happens, Frank has been suffering with ED (erectile dysfunction) and as a result has been suffering from extreme stress."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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