Mass eruption interrupts masturbators convention

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 21 May 2021

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Pandemonium at the Masturbators convention

A mysterious eruption originating from beneath the Budget Inn just outside of Indianapolis interrupted the keynote "squeaker" at the 34th Annual World Wide Masturbators Convention today.

The eruption happened on the first full day of the convention.

Reportedly conventioneers retreated back to their rooms and many decided to "shelter in place" for the rest of that day. It's not yet known if the convention schedule will ba adjusted. After the speaker (referred to as the "Keynote Squeaker"), participants were scheduled to form break out circles.

We questioned the keynote speaker, identified only as Mr C, who vehemently denied being associated with the convention. But several photographs show Mr C standing at the podium.

Authorities were on the scene, including the fire department and law enforcement who had been notified but both groups hesitated to enter the building for reasons unknown at this point. Eventually the fire fighters were shamed into action.

The building was checked and deemed safe for the conventioneers. This is a developing situation and there is no word yet on casualties.

More detail to follow

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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