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Funny story: Local mum forced to abort car journey after teen son leaves home without masturbating

Local mum forced to abort car journey after teen son leaves home without masturbating

A 39-year-old mother of two from Whitechapel in East London was forced to turn back ten minutes into a car journey after her 16-year-old son complained that he hadn’t masturbated before leaving home. Tracy Dell from Vallance Road, told The East Lo…

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Funny story: Wanker suffers under the long arm of the law

Wanker suffers under the long arm of the law

Police swooped into a Wetherspoon's early this morning to arrest a male suspected of wanking in a public toilet that is marked Disabled Only. Police say after breaking the door down with brutal force they entered to find the man on his back with…

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Funny story: Naked Man Arrested for non-compliance with TSA Guidelines; claims it was just a misunderstanding

Naked Man Arrested for non-compliance with TSA Guidelines; claims it was just a misunderstanding

The Hennepin County Attorney’s Office in Minnesota yesterday filed a complaint against Frank Towers, 44, after the man initiated an altercation with TSA employees. Investigators say the incident happened at the skyway checkpoint early last Friday mo…

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Funny story: England Wanker Team wins Gold at Wanker Olympics!

England Wanker Team wins Gold at Wanker Olympics!

England continue to achieve great success as a bunch of 'Wankers' after successfully leaving the EU as renowned 'Tossers!' They now have won a gold medal at the alternative Olympics held in 'Willy Wanker Land' better known as Vatican City! Several…

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Funny story: New Super-Hero Based On Infamous Zoom-Guy Jeffrey Toobin Coming Soon

New Super-Hero Based On Infamous Zoom-Guy Jeffrey Toobin Coming Soon

The next iteration of the fantastically successful world of Marble super-heroes will feature a new addition to the pantheon, the Toobinator, modelled loosely on the CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, infamous for masturbating on a Zoom call with his c…

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Funny story: Masturbators Convention is a blast after all! So says the ACMA Prez

Masturbators Convention is a blast after all! So says the ACMA Prez

Chuck Bonica, President of the American Compulsive Masturbators Association (ACMA) has been an openly proud masturbator for the bulk of his 60 years. As the ACMA annual convention wrapped up this morning, Chuck was happy to report it was a big su…

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Funny story: Mass eruption interrupts masturbators convention

Mass eruption interrupts masturbators convention

A mysterious eruption originating from beneath the Budget Inn just outside of Indianapolis interrupted the keynote "squeaker" at the 34th Annual World Wide Masturbators Convention today. The eruption happened on the first full day of the conventi…

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Funny story: Finally! A Male Member-Friendly Popcorn Box!

Finally! A Male Member-Friendly Popcorn Box!

Late yesterday, the Weifang Packada Eco-friendly Technology Corporation announced it has completed field-testing for a “penis-friendly” popcorn container. The container, designated as the WADAWAY21™ has undergone trials in 14 markets around the w…

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Funny story: Do You Recall Your First Sexual Experience?

Do You Recall Your First Sexual Experience?

Most people can recall their first sexual experience, but judging from the responses to the 2021 Postcards from the Pug Bus Sex Survey, not everyone puts a smiley face on that memory. A total of 1,167 people responded to the Pug Bus survey. This pene…

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Funny story: Man Got Spunk In His Eye

Man Got Spunk In His Eye

A man who is a confirmed habitual masturbator has told friends on social media of a recent incident in which an overzealous tug resulted in an 'unexpected outcome', when a blob of semen spurted out of his Jap's Eye into a corresponding orifice on his…

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Funny story: Masturbating now accepted as a healthy pastime during lockdown!

Masturbating now accepted as a healthy pastime during lockdown!

(NOT EDITED) Scientist studying anti-social human behaviour during lockdown have discovered that many taboo habits should now be fully accepted as NORMAL (Whatever that is!). The study looked at all age categories from teeny to OAP and came up wit…

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Funny story: Man Defers Wank For Another Time

Man Defers Wank For Another Time

A Fort Lauderdale man postponed a highly anticipated wank after realizing that he ran the risk of getting caught in the act by either his wife, his daughter or the guy who 'does the garden'. The man, whose identity cannot be revealed, had planned…

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Funny story: The Valentine's Day tradition that gets the cream

The Valentine's Day tradition that gets the cream

Many Valentine's Day traditions are modern, commercial and trashy - the giving of cards, the pressure to send flowers - these are all recent inventions. Yet there is one popular tradition that is still going and started all the way back with St Valen…

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Discovered Masturbating In Capitol Building Horror

Nancy Pelosi Discovered Masturbating In Capitol Building Horror

A male intern administrative assistant working in the Capitol Building in Washington DC has walked in on his boss, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, masturbating in her office, according to unverified rumors circulating online. Marvin Shawshank says hi…

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Funny story: President Trump FINALLY concedes he’s a wanker

President Trump FINALLY concedes he’s a wanker

Following the result of the US Presidential election on 3 November, 2020, when a majority of voters decided that Donald Trump is a wanker, a majority of the electoral college voted that he is a wanker, and a slew of court cases challenging the findin…

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Funny story: Zoom rolls out new worry-free masturbation feature, makes pork-pulling look like note-taking

Zoom rolls out new worry-free masturbation feature, makes pork-pulling look like note-taking

Zoom, the popular online video conferencing company, announced today a new feature with advanced artificial intelligence to let users masturbate without fussing with their camera and microphone settings, making it appear as if they are furiously tak…

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Funny story: Bukkake World Championships Called Off Due To Health Risk

Bukkake World Championships Called Off Due To Health Risk

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, has cast its shadow over normality again this evening, after the dangerous risk of spreading the virus put paid to the 2020 staging of one of the most eagerly-awaited events in the Japanese social calendar - the Bukkake Wor…

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