Masturbators Convention is a blast after all! So says the ACMA Prez

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Sunday, 23 May 2021


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Masturbators take the "Wanking Pledge" before leaving convention

Chuck Bonica, President of the American Compulsive Masturbators Association (ACMA) has been an openly proud masturbator for the bulk of his 60 years.

As the ACMA annual convention wrapped up this morning, Chuck was happy to report it was a big success despite the snafu on Day 2, after an underground eruption alarmed attendees and threatened to blow the facility "sky high".

Once informed it was a false alarm, conventioneers came back in full force. Many joined the scheduled "practice circles", where they had a chance to meet and share techniques with masturbators from all over the world. Others went back to their rooms to "shelter in place" which currently is a favorite pastime for many folks regardless of their views on masturbation.

Bo Wipenheim, Product Brand Manager of Kleenex for Kimberly Clark, a major sponsor of the convention, told us he was also very happy with the outcome. "I'm happy to report we set a new record this weekend with over 32,126 tissues used by 183 people. That equates to slightly more than 175 and one half tissues used by each person! Now that's nothing to sneeze at!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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