The Hennepin County Attorney’s Office in Minnesota yesterday filed a complaint against Frank Towers, 44, after the man initiated an altercation with TSA employees. Investigators say the incident happened at the skyway checkpoint early last Friday mo…
Due to a glitch in the TSA's Delay Performance System, Trans American Flight 209 left the gate on time, took off, and landed at its intended destination on time. "We are looking into this situation. We take delay tactics very seriously, and if ou...
Stacy Armato says agents gave her a HARD time when she asked that they please not X-ray her breast milk at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in 2010. ABC says, "She pleaded for an alternate way to screen it" But an unidentified source said the...
New York, NY (STT News) - News is breaking that today's disturbance at LaGuardia International Airport was based on the shocking discovery that Elvis Presley really wasn't dead after all. At approximately 10:45 am, the entire airport was suddenly...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Transportation Safety Association trying to regain its credibility has fired the TSA agent who was taking upskirt photos of women passengers with his cell phone. A TSA spokesperson said that his agency promises that the inci...
Transportation Security Administration airport workers intentionally blew up a passenger today after he began acting suspiciously. "The male subject was very nervous, and he had no identification and no luggage, and he refused to identify himsel...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...
Hollywood, California - The script for the first show of a new T.V. series to be hosted by hoity-toity Piers Morgan has been leaked to the Press. The new show is to be called America's Got Guns and features exciting audience interaction. The scri...
A Miami, Florida man smashed his car into an Einstein Brothers food stand on the second floor concourse of the Miami International Airport while parallel parking between a set of stationary tables. Fortunately there were no casualties except for the...
TSA Headquarters, Washington, DC - The recent transit of Venus will go into the record books with an asterisk, according to the Transit Space Authority. "She jumped the turnstile without putting in a token", complained TSA spokesman Buckler Q. Cro...
88 year old former US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, got a taste of his first TSA pat down. This occurred while going to Toronto to try to negotiate a ceasefire between the Miami Heat's shooting guard Dwayne Wade and his coach Erik Spoelstra.
Washington (SAPP) - To stop a mounting surge of complaints against the Transportation Security Agency (TSA), Congressman Westley Guilder (R-Texas) has introduced House Bill 1202 that would change the way TSA screeners handle passengers entering into...
TSA and Homeland Security have announced new pre-boarding screening procedures that they say will ease the flow of passengers though all US airports. The new system will come into effect on 1 June. In a memo leaked yesterday the new procedures in...
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul was speaking to a crowd that had gathered at Shreveport's General Stonewall Jackson High School. He told the crowd estimated by Jo Jo Spamaficki, owner of Spamaficki's Hardware Store, to...
Washington DC: A new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) study apologizes for the federal government's junk science blaming Carbon Dioxide (CO2) for causing climate change. The real culprit is stinky feet. The EPA was examining regulating the o...
The astonishing decision by 'Big Sis' to put passengers lives at increased risk from elderly terrorists by relaxing security procedures for the over 75's at US airports has brought a warning from Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron, currently in A...
Washington, DC - We all know not to joke while in line to board airplanes these days, but a new plan to ban joking everywhere is rapidly taking shape, according to our source C. Fowlercross, our mole in the TSA. (That is not his real name). Accor...
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