Funny story: Marvel announce new superheroes for upcoming films

Marvel announce new superheroes for upcoming films

The Marvel Cinematic Universe tells a complex story, full of the sort of superheroes that simple-minded people love. There have been around twenty films already, each one referencing the others in a confusing way which forces viewers to watch them al...

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Funny story: Controversy Over Photo of Pope John Paul II

Controversy Over Photo of Pope John Paul II

VATICAN ((AP) As hundreds of mourners walked past Pope John Paul II's body which was laying in state in the frescoed Apostolic Palace, many hushed whispers broke out as the people got close to the body. The mourners generally remained respectful...

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Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Catholic clergy and institutions have responded to the ACLU lawsuit against the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops over denial of "proper health care." The case involves a catholic hospital in Muskegon, which turned away a pregnant mother...

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Funny story: Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...

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Funny story: George Bush to Pope John Paul: John Kerry is Satan

George Bush to Pope John Paul: John Kerry is Satan

President George W. Bush had a private meeting with Catholic Pope John Paul II in Rome where the President asked the Pope for help in his re election bid. President Bush, a born again Evangelical Christian who believes all Catholics will burn in Hell...

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Funny story: Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.

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Funny story: Pope Reissues Ten Commandments After Rethink

Pope Reissues Ten Commandments After Rethink

The Vatican has issued a brand new set of the ten commandments after a "rethink" over the messages contained on the slabs of stone Moses carefully dragged down the mountain after speaking to God.

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Funny story: John Paul Inks Deal for "Pop Pope Picks"

John Paul Inks Deal for "Pop Pope Picks"

Ebert will be taking over Catholic Church; John Paul will Air Weekly Movie Review Show Complete with Vatican Munchies Suggestions.

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Funny story: Pope Benedict Canonizes Mother Teresa Fourth Patron Saint of Bees

Pope Benedict Canonizes Mother Teresa Fourth Patron Saint of Bees

In his sermon today at Westminster Cathedral Pope Benedict XVI surprised the world by canonizing Mother Teresa. Pope Benedict canonized Mother Teresa and then immediately proclaimed her the fourth Patron Saint of Bees. Here is the text of Pope Benedict's canonization sermon today: Dear friends in Christ, The visitor to this cathedral cannot fail to be struck by the great crucifix dom...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle pulls out of Popefest gig blaming frog-in-the-throat disaster!

Susan Boyle pulls out of Popefest gig blaming frog-in-the-throat disaster!

Edinburgh - (Premature Evacuation News): A hapless Parisian onion seller had to be surgically extracted from the singer's larynx this afternoon. Firemen fought for half an hour before bringing in an oxy-acetylene torch to remove the intrusive dork...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

VATICAN CITY - Italy's El Vino News Agency is reporting that Pope Francis in an effort to reach a type of middle ground has made a new ruling on the same-sex marriage controversy. The pope speaking in the parking lot of a local Pompous Pizza Parlo...

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Funny story: Vatican Details Plans for Pope's Burial

Vatican Details Plans for Pope's Burial

Vatican City - Vatican official today provided detailed plans for the burial of Pope John Paul II. One detail that is sure to anger some longtime Pope-watchers is the plan to bury Pope John Paul in the grave used by Pope John the XXIII.

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Funny story: Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster

Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster

The Pope made a very common - but highly embarrassing - mistake when he tried to take mass yesterday in London. He initially turned up at Westminster Abbey - knowing that is where the Kings of Queens of England have been crowned, where the greatest m...

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Funny story: Pope: I Hate You Butler!

Pope: I Hate You Butler!

Pope "Blakey" Benedict XVI was last night seen waving his fist angrily from the Vatican balcony screaming "I hate you......butler" while donning a Town & District Bus Company Inspectors cap and sporting a brand new "Hitler" moustache. It is u...

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Funny story: Saddam converts, wants trial by ecclesiastical court

Saddam converts, wants trial by ecclesiastical court

Vatican City, Thursday (Riotous) - The Pope was being treated for a migraine-induced brain seizure yesterday following an official request from Saddam Hussain's legal team for their client to convert to Catholicism and automatically qualify for...

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Funny story: Pope Fights Back

Pope Fights Back

The current Pope Benedict has hit back at critics who say he needs a spectacular like the Royal Wedding to get even bigger crowds and TV exposure than a future head of the Church of England. Unable to stage a similar marriage (at least in public)...

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Funny story: Papa Panzer: Ordination in Vaticanation

Papa Panzer: Ordination in Vaticanation

Thespoof reporters who usually cover little league snooker in Scandinavia went to the Vatican to interview the Pope on complex theological matters pertaining to ordination.

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Funny story: Non Catholics Pretend to Mourn the Passing of John Paul II

Non Catholics Pretend to Mourn the Passing of John Paul II

As the worlds non Catholic population heaves a sigh and gets ready for another month of Pope related news, millions of Papists are gearing up to look at the soon to be rotting, festering corpse of the dead Pontiff in Vatican City. Indulging in the pa...

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Funny story: Airport-style security scanners will search Cardinals for pagan implants, satanic tattoos etc

Airport-style security scanners will search Cardinals for pagan implants, satanic tattoos etc

Rome - A light frisking under the cassock was all that was needed in 2005 when the church's princes lined up their credentials to elect a new Pope under Olden Day rules. On Tuesday the Vatican's new get-tough policy on wackos and weirdos kicks int...

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Funny story: Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Craggy Island Parish Hall: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported internationally, but in this series of news reports we examine the impact that the Popes visit to the United Kingdom is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britains former colonies and Empire. At Craggy Island Parish Hall, to coincide with the Popes first day in Britain, a 'special' spiritual ecumenic...

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