Marvel announce new superheroes for upcoming films
The Marvel Cinematic Universe tells a complex story, full of the sort of superheroes that simple-minded people love. There have been around twenty films already, each one referencing the others in a confusing way which forces viewers to watch them al...
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Controversy Over Photo of Pope John Paul II
VATICAN ((AP) As hundreds of mourners walked past Pope John Paul II's body which was laying in state in the frescoed Apostolic Palace, many hushed whispers broke out as the people got close to the body. The mourners generally remained respectful...
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Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception
Catholic clergy and institutions have responded to the ACLU lawsuit against the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops over denial of "proper health care." The case involves a catholic hospital in Muskegon, which turned away a pregnant mother...
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Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
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George Bush to Pope John Paul: John Kerry is Satan
President George W. Bush had a private meeting with Catholic Pope John Paul II in Rome where the President asked the Pope for help in his re election bid. President Bush, a born again Evangelical Christian who believes all Catholics will burn in Hell...
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Church Bans Sexual Intercourse
Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.
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Pope Clamors for Retirement, Decries Vatican "Sweatshop Practices"
Pope Moves Vatican to Africa
A Poem For Cardinal Pell
Pope creates new tribunal to hide old tribunals sheltering of priests
Pope Names New Saints
Pope Benedict Converts to Islam
Donald Trump Takes Over Vatican: Tells Pope "You're Fired!"
President Trump Signs Executive Order To Replace Pope
Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges
Italian Prosecutors Seize Pope Benedict's $30M Bank Account
Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out
God Speaks to Earth from Heaven
Pope Reissues Ten Commandments After Rethink
The Vatican has issued a brand new set of the ten commandments after a "rethink" over the messages contained on the slabs of stone Moses carefully dragged down the mountain after speaking to God.
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John Paul Inks Deal for "Pop Pope Picks"
Ebert will be taking over Catholic Church; John Paul will Air Weekly Movie Review Show Complete with Vatican Munchies Suggestions.
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Pope Benedict Canonizes Mother Teresa Fourth Patron Saint of Bees
In his sermon today at Westminster Cathedral Pope Benedict XVI surprised the world by canonizing Mother Teresa. Pope Benedict canonized Mother Teresa and then immediately proclaimed her the fourth Patron Saint of Bees. Here is the text of Pope Benedict's canonization sermon today: Dear friends in Christ, The visitor to this cathedral cannot fail to be struck by the great crucifix dom...
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Susan Boyle pulls out of Popefest gig blaming frog-in-the-throat disaster!
Edinburgh - (Premature Evacuation News): A hapless Parisian onion seller had to be surgically extracted from the singer's larynx this afternoon. Firemen fought for half an hour before bringing in an oxy-acetylene torch to remove the intrusive dork...
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Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church
VATICAN CITY - Italy's El Vino News Agency is reporting that Pope Francis in an effort to reach a type of middle ground has made a new ruling on the same-sex marriage controversy. The pope speaking in the parking lot of a local Pompous Pizza Parlo...
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Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster
The Pope made a very common - but highly embarrassing - mistake when he tried to take mass yesterday in London. He initially turned up at Westminster Abbey - knowing that is where the Kings of Queens of England have been crowned, where the greatest m...
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Saddam converts, wants trial by ecclesiastical court
Vatican City, Thursday (Riotous) - The Pope was being treated for a migraine-induced brain seizure yesterday following an official request from Saddam Hussain's legal team for their client to convert to Catholicism and automatically qualify for...
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Non Catholics Pretend to Mourn the Passing of John Paul II
As the worlds non Catholic population heaves a sigh and gets ready for another month of Pope related news, millions of Papists are gearing up to look at the soon to be rotting, festering corpse of the dead Pontiff in Vatican City. Indulging in the pa...
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Airport-style security scanners will search Cardinals for pagan implants, satanic tattoos etc
Rome - A light frisking under the cassock was all that was needed in 2005 when the church's princes lined up their credentials to elect a new Pope under Olden Day rules. On Tuesday the Vatican's new get-tough policy on wackos and weirdos kicks int...
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Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"
Craggy Island Parish Hall: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported internationally, but in this series of news reports we examine the impact that the Popes visit to the United Kingdom is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britains former colonies and Empire. At Craggy Island Parish Hall, to coincide with the Popes first day in Britain, a 'special' spiritual ecumenic...
Read full storyFunny Pope Headlines
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Michael Jackson Made Honorary Priest!
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Michael Jackson To Be Next Pope
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Computer cracks Da Vinci Code; refuses to reveal secret
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Pope updates the 10 commandments
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Business booming at gay brothel opposite Pope hotel
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Justin Bieber to do a concert for the pope
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Peter Tatchell: "Not all sex involving children is unwanted, abusive & harmful"
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The Pope Has Mixed Blessings on New Confessional IPhone App
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Trump may run for Pope next
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Pope Francis Spotted at International Atheist Convention
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Pope Stole My Name - Class Action Law Suit Set To Follow
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Pope's Message Is Directed To The Yoof
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Wiccans send letter to Pope asking for holiday back.
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Blair Meets Pope to Beg Forgiveness
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Pope Declares Jihad Type War On Islamic Fundamentalists?
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"Pope Friction", Quentin Tarantino in Vatican outrage.
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Pope Benedict's Travel Diary
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Are we ready for a Jewish Pope?
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Sold Out Gig
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Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide
