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Funny story: Pope Stuck in Elevator--Now Understands Purgatory

Pope Stuck in Elevator--Now Understands Purgatory

At an impromptu news conference, Vatican Spokesperson Alessandro Gisotti explained to an overflow crowd of reporters that Pope Francis was late to celebrate Sunday mass due to an elevator malfunction. Gisotti went to great length to say the Pope was...

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Funny story: An ex-cardinal has been defrocked for seeking independence

An ex-cardinal has been defrocked for seeking independence

The Catholic Church has found John Paul III guilty of building a girls' orphanage in Egypt without seeking authority from the Vatican. The Vatican has defrocked John Paul III, an ex-cardinal, and the former archbishop of Istanbul, in the most com...

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Funny story: Putin & Trump Love Affair Is Beginning To Stink

Putin & Trump Love Affair Is Beginning To Stink

Apparently, the Putin & Trump love affair is beginning to stink. Not like roses and lolly pops, but smell rich with suspicion. What could Trump owe Putin in dollars, real estate, votes, or pee videos, to make him appear oblivious to Putin's knock...

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Funny story: Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

In a highly secret meeting, the Pope was said to be outraged at the latest pedophile scandal to hit the church, demanding to know why Pell didn't mop this up before he left Australia. It seems time and his track record of deceit and outrage agains...

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Funny story: Donut Miracle Converts Thousands to Christianity

Donut Miracle Converts Thousands to Christianity

Mobile, AL - Well-respected local, Jamie McGinn, woke up on October 17th like it was any other day. Little did she know, her routine Saturday donut run would be far from normal. On her way back into the house from her trip to Dan's Donuts, she trippe...

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Funny story: Vatican refuses to acknowledge gay French ambassador because he's not a priest!

Vatican refuses to acknowledge gay French ambassador because he's not a priest!

Pope Francis decided enough is enough and has told the Vatican not to acknowledge the existence of a gay French ambassador who should have taken his position in Rome. The Vatican does not mind gay priests spreading their gospels all over the plan...

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Funny story: Pope professes his fondness for Kanye West, declares all other music "obsolete"

Pope professes his fondness for Kanye West, declares all other music "obsolete"

Vatican City- In what is sure to be earth shattering news, earlier today Pope Francis declared his love of Kanye West, calling him "the greatest musical mind of the last 100 years". His holiness commented: "If our Lord and Savior were here with u...

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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...

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Funny story: Boys, Boys, Boys! It's what a priest dreams of.

Boys, Boys, Boys! It's what a priest dreams of.

Under-aged CIA reporter Johnny Pedo-Hunter, who has been sniffing around the Vatican looking for some dirty news, has just reported back to HQ what everybody knew anyway - kiddies porno has been found sitting on laps and tops and PCs in the holy cath...

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Funny story: Pope hopes to clean up

Pope hopes to clean up

To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...

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Funny story: Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness

Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness

1. "LIVE AND LET LIVE." "The Pope refers to not judging others and letting them continue with their lives in a way that best suits them." Really? Would the Church even exist if it had followed this? Remember the Crusades, the so-called Holy Wars, the pact with Hitler? The forcible conversion of natives? The indoctrination of the faithful through the Catholic school system? The exploit...

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Funny story: Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

VATICAN CITY -- While admitting that he's "no scientist," Pope Francis is preparing to issue a papal encyclical (not to be confused with a Popsicle or an icicle) concerning global warming "and other celestial matters." An encyclical is a lesson of...

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Funny story: Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

The Vatican is introducing sweeping reforms to its liturgical practice. Mass, benediction and special services, from now on, will be all-ticket affairs. The "pensio" as the ticket is called can be bought online. Marketing director for the Vatican...

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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...

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Funny story: Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...

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Funny story: Pope Denounces Euthanasia

Pope Denounces Euthanasia

POPE FRANCIS denounced the "Right to Die Movement" on Saturday 14th November 2014, saying that Euthanasia is a "sin against God and creation". We talked to their Foreign Affairs Director at the Holy See, Jesuit Bishop Alphonse de Mason. "The V...

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Funny story: Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

The streets of the Vatican were bustling as White Smoke alerted all the citizens. White Smoke being the official app of the Pope. The sound of Marimba echoing through the streets. "Oh Our God! Is the Pope #RIP?" tweeted @vatikitty12. Sighs of relief...

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