Mob-connected goose seeking revenge on well-meaning medics

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Monday, 26 July 2021

image for Mob-connected goose seeking revenge on well-meaning medics
Arnold in his days as an up and coming mob goose

A staff member at a Cape Cod's Wildlife Center recently noticed Arnold, a goose who had developed a noticeable limp. He and some co-workers Canada Goose, set a trap and ambushed Arnold, bringing him to the Cape Cod Wildlife Center for an exam and treatment.

As it turned out, Arnold’s leg was broken in two places. The doctor guessed the damage done by a snapping turtle. What they didn’t know was that Arnold was a goose with a double life, and he didn’t take kindly to the kind gesture by the wildlife advocates.

Since his hospitalization, anonymous sources have divulged that Arnold is a long-time associate of the Gambino crime family. They say he travels to the New York City area monthly to meet with his cohorts to plan scams or discuss other mob business.

Word on the street is that Arnold’s leg was broken by a rogue turkey called “Jasper”. According to the source: “Jasper was running his operation as an independent bookie and refusing to pay tribute. So, Arnold was sent to tune the guy up but instead he got tuned up himself.”

The source did speculate that Arnold’s standing with the family had been damaged, adding “it’s never easy for a goose no matter how hard you work.”

Arnold and his mate Wilma have lived on a pond near Cape Cod's Cape Wildlife Center for years. They are low profile birds by all accounts, until recently. Wilma is now camped out outside the center’s side entrance, where she has a clear view of her mate most of the time. Asked about her feelings, Wilma had no comment.

Arnold is not talking either but sources say Arnold is angry with his caretakers and that he may be planning some form of revenge. “He’s been known to fly off the handle. No tellin’ what he might do once he gets out.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more