Man Buys Yellow Shoes After Vendor Tells Him They'll Be A Hit With The Ladies

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 6 March 2021

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A man who might be best described as 'a bit gullible', has revealed how he was persuaded by the vendor in a shoe shop to buy a pair of yellow shoes which, said the vendor, would be an instant hit with females, and would make him a 'lady magnet'.

Moys Kenwood, 57, found the shoes at a market stall shoe shop in the city center, and picked them up to inspect them.

From out of nowhere, a man appeared. This was the vendor.

Kenwood asked the price, and was told they were $12, around $5 more than he wanted to pay, but the vendor told him to try them on anyway. When he did, the vendor made a sound as if he had witnessed something miraculous, then touched Kenwood on the arm, and winked at him, saying:

"Very handsome! The girl, the lady, she like! She like!"

Already withering under the graphic images flooding his brain, the Englishman fought with his Yorkshire-born conscience, which strictly regulates expenditure.

But the vendor was insistent.

"Girl she like you!"

Still Kenwood wasn't sure. He looked in the shop's cracked mirror, and adjusted his stance several times, taking in the view from all angles.

"Lady, woman, girl want to love handsome man! This shoe make you handsome! She not resist man wear yellow shoe!"

Losing the struggle, Kenwood fumbled around in his wallet for $10, a sum he felt sure the vendor would accept. The man grimaced, and, with a look of resignation, folded the cash, and put it in his picket. Kenwood made off.

Counting his cash again later, the vendor said:

"That shoe normally go for six dollar! He stupid!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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