A Woman Who Has Been Sheltering-in-Place For 9 Months Says She’s Going To Marry Her Vibrator

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 22 February 2021

image for A Woman Who Has Been Sheltering-in-Place For 9 Months Says She’s Going To Marry Her Vibrator
Bertie Bonnie Chipuma says she plans on marrying her vibrator as soon as possible.

ELEANOR RIGBY, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Millions of people have found ways of coping with the Coronapalooza directives to self-isolate, shelter-in-place, and self-distance.

Many folks are self-isolating and learning how to cook Ethiopian food, studying parts of their body much more closely, and watching porn on porn websites such as eLibido.SEX, eHorny.WOW, and eBoinking.DIC.

But an unemployed letter stuffer and recently divorced woman named Bertie Bonnie Chipuma, 29, said that she has really gotten into the self-satisfying vibrator world.

Bertie Bonnie was recently interviewed by Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, when it was learned that she has become so found of her 8-inch Hercules 202 Explorer Vibby, that she is making arrangements to legally enter into matrimony with “The Dude” as she has nicknamed her soon-to-be battery-powered husband.

Chipuma said that she and her human ex-husband would argue as many as 7 or 8 times a day.

She noted that she and “The Dude” have not argued once in 9 months.

Bertie Bonnie told San Guacamole that another plus with her Vibby is that he will never ask her the age-old, after sex, male ego question, if he was the best effer she’s ever had.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more