A couple who don't usually make this kind of news available for public consumption, but who have let their guard down recently because of the mental state the Coronavirus has reduced them to, have told friends that, all being well, they will indulge in full-blown sexual intercourse on Sunday evening.
Jack and Sandra Watkins, of Derby, are both in their 50s, and known amongst the members of their circle as very normal, balanced individuals who have been together for twenty-five years, and who like to keep their private lives pretty much 'under wraps'.
"Well, that's our normal way of doing things, you know. Just 'take it as it comes', don't plan anything, be spontaneous, and see what happens at the end of the night."
"Yes, that's right," agreed Sandra, "but this virus thing has got us all of a muddle, and there we were, in the middle of our little group in the pub on Friday night, and, before I had time to stop myself, I'd said that I wouldn't mind one bit if Jack 'slipped me a length' on Sunday night straight after 'Match of the Day' and our cocoa. Gosh!"
Friends of the pair were startled. One, Mike Ramrod, said:
"It was quite out of character, really, to spill the beans on their 'in-out-in-out' plans. Still, the virus seems to be messing with our brains!"
And Jenny Boggins, who - secretly - wouldn't mind if Mike slipped her a length, laughed:
"I'll be at home, but I'll be there, with them, in spirit!"