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Funny satire stories about Tan

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Funny story: Suntan Is Coming Along Nicely

Suntan Is Coming Along Nicely

The Coronavirus drags on with no end in sight, leaving many people at a loose end through not being able to go back to work, but for one man, the extra free time spent in the sunshine is very welcome, as he tops up his suntan. Ken Moyswood, 57, ha…

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Funny story: Look like Jordan burnt to a crisp under a sunbed, is it really worth it?

Look like Jordan burnt to a crisp under a sunbed, is it really worth it?

CIA HQ under a tanning bed in a wellness hotel somewhere in a posh part of London has just sent this life threatening report! Jaggedone's CIA star lifestyle reporter, Shaggy Daddy-Brownlegs, has crawled out of the gutter into a very posh wellness hotel and brown, white Caucasian x-treme tanner, Laura May McMullan, told him, whilst lying under the sun yet again, the following story. Well it a...

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Funny story: Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

It's not the location. Or the beautiful white sands. Or the ice-blue water. Or the spectacular, pristine scenery. It's not even the hospitable locals. Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida, has been named The Best Beach in America by Beachcombers, a...

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Funny story: Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag To Star As Patricia Krentcil In The Horror Movie "The Attack of The Tanorexic Woman"

Heidi Montag To Star As Patricia Krentcil In The Horror Movie "The Attack of The Tanorexic Woman"

HOLLYWOOD - Cinema Castle Pictures will soon begin production on the Sheboygan Saddlewood film based on the New Jersey "Tanning Woman" Patricia Krentcil. Saddlewood noted that Heidi Montag has been signed to portray Krentcil who is considered to b...

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Funny story: Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"

Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"

NEW YORK CITY - TNT sports announcer Charles Barkley, who is known as "The Round Mound of Rebound," was spotted at New York's The Plastered Platypus Lounge. Sir Charles, as he prefers to be called, was sitting with an unidentified male friend who...

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Funny story: Whales Suffer From Sunburn - And They Need Shades

Whales Suffer From Sunburn - And They Need Shades

Sunglasses manufacturers are urgently seeking talks with a team of scientists working on the effects sun on whales. The Sun's rays can "burn" whales' skin, just like they can damage human skin, according to the researchers. The scientists stud...

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Funny story: Charlie Crist Loses His Tan

Charlie Crist Loses His Tan

Voters are beside themselves, political pundits are at a loss for words and bronzed beach goers everywhere are expressing great concern over Florida Governor Charlie Crist reportedly new pale complexion. Crist known for his perpetual deep tan and...

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Funny story: Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan

Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan

89 year-old grandmother of 13 Edna Hiscox has hit a problem with her planning application to erect a wind turbine in her garden in Duke Street, Peckham. Two local businessmen, Daniel Lovatt and Stanley Stitt, obtained a court injunction on Tuesday...

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Funny story: Fears grow in fake tanning industry over BA strike action

Fears grow in fake tanning industry over BA strike action

A spokesperson for the Organisation of Red And Nasty Ginger Epidermis or O.R.A.N.G.E for short voiced its member's fears today over pending BA strike action. Miss Dee Velopes-Overnight said, "BA cabin crew are our bread and butter money, if BA go...

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Funny story: Local Woman Talks of the Perils of Sun Beds

Local Woman Talks of the Perils of Sun Beds

Local woman Tania Foxx, 24 Windchester Road, has spoken publicly for the first time about her disastrous experiences involving sun beds. The former 'least likely to achieve' nominee in her school yearbook, took to visiting tanning salons in order...

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Funny story: John Schnatter's Face Made Into Fine Leather Handbag

John Schnatter's Face Made Into Fine Leather Handbag

ANCHORAGE, KY - Better Ingredients, Better Pizza... and now, it would seem Poppa's also Got a Brand New Bag. After years of intense artificial and natural tanning, John Schnatter, Poppa Johnny's Pizza founder and pitchman, decided to ditch his dam...

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Funny story: Spray-on Tan Now Available For Pets

Spray-on Tan Now Available For Pets

(Beigetown, Texas) Planning to take little Rover to Florida, but worried that the UV might damage her coat? Fret not, because the good folks from Mist-ova ™ Tan have just come up with a solution. Within the next few months the company will be s...

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Funny story: Man Toasted At Tanning Salon

Man Toasted At Tanning Salon

A Health and Safety Executive investigation has been launched today after a 48-year-old man suffered burns over 99% of his body when he used a machine at an unstaffed tanning salon in Dudley. The man, Shadrach Umbongo, went along to the Black &...

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Funny story: Peter Andre's spray on tan

Peter Andre's spray on tan

Aussie pop star Peter Andre has launched his own brand of spray on tan. Andre, a close follower of the career of Wham's Andrew Ridgeley said: 'The world needs more ranges of spray on tans. I know that it is not the same as a proper tan, you know,...

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Funny story: Palin Invites McCain to Her Bed...Tanning, that is!

Palin Invites McCain to Her Bed...Tanning, that is!

Ambitious Alaskan Bronze Beauty runner up Sarah Palin had a used tanning bed installed in the Alaskan Governor's trailer just days after the inauguration. A variety of rationales were provided at the time, like "Alaska is friggin' frigid" to my Hotti...

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Funny story: Benitez claims he is tanned

Benitez claims he is tanned

In what seems to be another bizarre attempt in seeming "normal", Rafael Benitez, the fat manager of Liverpool FC, has claimed that he has a tan. The incredibly white and bald manager, in what is seen by critics to be an attempt to seem "normal",...

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