AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California – (Satire News) - One of the nation’s leading meteorologists has just announced that 89% of California’s wildfires are being fanned by the Coronavirus.
Dr. Irving Ortega stated that, after a 16-week extensive study, he and his team, known as the Coronapalooza Busters, have determined that there is a bacterial microbe component found in C-19 cells that, when heated up, tend to expand to 9.3 times their normal size.
Dr. Ortega said that's equivalent to pouring gasoline, kerosene, alcohol, propane, and Johnny Walker Red on the flames.
The doctor was asked what could be done in order to prevent the wildfires from spreading more.
He took off his Houston Astros cap and replied that, if he knew the answer to that question, he would be richer than LeBron James, Tom Brady, and Jose Altuve combined.