China Targets Fat Kids

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

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Beijing - At a grand press conference held yesterday afternoon in the Chinese health ministry, the new Chinese health minister Lo Fat Yung, unveiled the government's controversial new plan for the nation's obese children.

Speaking rapidly in a language some in the foreign press pack later learned was Chinese, the minister savaged the country's fattest kids by claiming they were "Damaging the nation's steadfast march towards socialism by indulging in western style gluttony and ignoring the nation's proud history of being a wiry people."

Diplomatic circles in Beijing see this as a veiled criticism of the worlds fattest and only hyper power the united states.

The controversial new policy will target over 27 billion of the country's fattest preteens and will strictly enforce a set of Communist party approved dietary regulations, which will include a one meal only policy.

Violation of this strict new regime will result in the offending children being savagely beaten and then shot by the newly formed People's revolutionary brigade for the continued thinness of the glorious Chinese nation.

Lo Fat Yung, when questioned on the severity of the new policies punishment regime, dismissed worries that it was draconian by saying, "The Chinese people have a great tradition of starvation and severe punishment, dating back thousands of years to before even Mao's great dietary experiments."

Critics of the policy, mainly based in the united states, say this is another example of why you cant trust anyone with slanty eyes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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