Muff diving has been approved as a new Olympic event and Lady Muffington must protest, some think, too much.
"I had ProfePuss (US Muff Diving Champ JRN Ombligo aka ProfePuss) and he's no big thang!" Taunted Muffington, who claims that it is her muff that gave Muff Diving its name. "You pay me royalties!" She screeched at the Olympic Committee, "And Damages too! for what that Ombligo character did during what I now suspect were training runs! Ombligo, my ass! He couldn't find my button to save his or my life!"
TheSpoofDotCom terminated Ariana's comments at this point due to excessive use of exclamation points. Marquee Mark, Mustachioed Minstrel of Spoofdom explained: "People just don't realized how much ink an exclamation point uses. It's like the wear n' tear on the vocal cords caused by a squeal or a screech or a screed or lots of whiskey, tobacco and weed! (oops...)"
Lawyers for Ms Muffington who promised to stay calm and avoid not just exclamations but even logical points presented their case: "Where else would he have gotten the name from? (Ombligo is widely recognized as the originator of the sport's name). The only other Muffs we know are the furry hand warmers a la Dr Zhivago or the verb which is only used by baseball announcers usually at Red Sux games, describing errors on simple ground balls (see Buckner Fucks Up).
IOC lawyers were not available for comment since they were at a luncheon with Ombligo at the new tony restaurant ,"Goin' Down Der"!
