Teletubbies Say "You're Dead You Piece Of Scum!"

Written by Duff

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

image for Teletubbies Say "You're Dead You Piece Of Scum!"
The man from Liverpool. Features changed to ensure his own safety

A man from Liverpool was in hiding today claiming that he is on the hit-list of Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and that he's dead meat if the loveable furry tri-angle headed kiddies favourite catches up with him.

He told our crime correspondent, Nick Ross:

"I suppose it's my own fault. I was operating as a runner for them; you know? Smuggling vats of tubby custard through customs and that.

I got a bit greedy and started skimming some off the top for myself. I don't know what's in tha stuff but the kids can't geh enough of ihh.

Anyhow Lala got to hear about it. He's a right vicious bastard that one I can tell you. He smacked me around a bit then told me he was gonna grass me up to Tinky Winky.

Compared to Lala Winky's a fuchhing nutter likhh. I was told to get out of town and not come back. I'm noh stupihh likhh and know when to quit"

A spokesman for the loveable weirdoes commented:

"Eh oh!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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