Kiddies' favourite puppeteer, Mathew Corbett, is said by sources close to him to be distraught by the theft of his two best buddies, Sooty and Sweep.
The red-eyed kiddies' favourite told us with tears in his eyes:
"Some piece of scum's taken them from my dressing room and I don't know where they are. I dread to think what will happen to the boys if I don't get them back"
The Spoof understands that the loveable bear and his side-kick doggy friend may have been kidnapped and are being held hostage by sympathisers of the Teletubbies. The Tubbies are known to be jealous of Sooty and Sweep's longevity in show business and it's no secret that the Tubbies are no longer the force they once were.
Long suffering friend of the loveable duo, Panda Soo, told us:
"Them Tubbies are a right shower of bastards and they'd stop at nothing to knobble the boys"
Matthew has put up a reward for the safe recovery of his best pals and anybody with any information should contact Belfryshire CID or The Spoof's crime desk