MOSCOW – (Satire News) - Moscow’s national news agency Comrade News, is reporting that President Putin has finally decided to discourage gayism, which has recently increased by 4.61%.
Putin was speaking at the Kremlin’s Nikita Khrushchev Meeting Room when he told the assembled crowd of 2,000 that he has decided to implement three new policies.
He said that in order to discourage acts of gayism, he will issue a Putin Proclamation that will outlaw Margaritas, Frozen Daiquiris, and Elton John songs.
Putin wanted it to be known, that he is not against gays, it’s just that he feels they should not be out in public.
The Russian leader then said that he has set up a Gay Go Away Fund, which will provide money for any gay individual who wants to leave Russia.
Putin was glad to say that he has spoken to the prime minister of Denmark, Mette Frederiksen, and she told the Russian leader to send all the gays he wants over to Denmark, and they will be greeted with open arms.