Man Couldn't Stop Yawning

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 10 August 2020

image for Man Couldn't Stop Yawning
On his way to the Land of Nod

We've all experienced it - that sense of overwhelming tiredness, complete and utter exhaustion, and a feeling that one is on one's last legs, and that was precisely the case for one man last night when, try as he might, he just couldn't stop yawning.

Just before 10pm, the editor of a satirical news website set about his task adding commas to stories lacking them. As he did, he fought to stifle a yawn, and failed. Having added a comma, and a full stop, he updated the story, and opened another. Again, he yawned.

The second story was no better than the first. Indeed, just reading the words was having a sedative effect, and he yawned again. The punctuation was off, but so was the content, and even the tenses were askew. A feeling of lightheadedness came over him, and he looked at the clock.

Now he was very tired, but more than that, he was bored, with the relentless "Trump simply smiled and said..." and "She smiled and simply said...", and he wished this writer would write something to jolt him out of this state of extreme ennui, knowing, all the time, what a waste of a wish that was.

His eyelids felt so heavy, his brain had almost shut down operations, and he could barely see the little letters on his phone. He yawned a yawn so large and long, he thought it might never end, but it did, and another story appeared in front of him.

Then his wife was waking him roughly, asking:

"Aren't you going to have a shower and go to bed, tonight?"

He looked up at her, confused, then yawned again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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