Writer Reclassified As A 'Non-Person'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 2 August 2020

image for Writer Reclassified As A 'Non-Person'
Riaz Ali's name has been scrubbed, as if he no longer existed

Under a new law enacted by the UK government in order to curb the publication of 'fake news', a man who was once a writer on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has been reclassified as a 'non-person'.

Riaz Ali, who was in a select group of intellectuals in the first wave of contributors to the site in 2001, published an extremely controversial story entitled "No Buttons On Moon! cries Mr. Spoon's daughter", and immediately drew the attention of security forces worldwide.

That the story's publication came only days before the World Trade Center attacks, only made things worse.

Mr Ali was arrested in the UK, flown to the US, and held at Guantanamo Bay, where he was ceaselessly, remorselessly, and relentlessly questioned on his terrorist links for over 18 years, before being released without charge last Christmas.

He returned to his native UK a broken man, retired from public life, and has led a quiet existence ever since, writing not a single spoof.

Yesterday, in accordance with the new law, his name was removed from the official UK Register of Persons, and he became, thereby, the first person to be made a non-person.

At The Spoof, where all Mr Ali's problems began, his name was removed from a forum listing, leaving a blank space where his name should have been.

Readers are encouraged to click on the above link to Mr. Ali's story, as it may be the last opportunity to see his name ever again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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