Man Picks Up CD Bargains In Library Sale

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

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End-of-year library sales are notoriously good pickings for those with an interest in books, and particularly cheap books, but one man has told how he unearthed a treasure trove of musical gems, in the form of cut-price CDs.

Myke Woodson, 56, is an avid music fan, but the last thing he expected to find when he strode through the doors of Greenwood Avenue Library in Hull, was a huge collection of CDs, each one costing just 50p!

Immediately, he forgot about books, and his fingers frantically flicked through the racks of CDs as if he were on some kind of mission.

"Ian McCulloch ... mmm ... Poet and the Roots ... mmm ... Paul Weller ... mmm ... The Foals ... mmm ... Jah Wobble & the Invaders of the Heart ... mmm ... The Adverts ... mmm ... George Clinton ... Christ on a bike!"

The CD fiend couldn't believe his luck as gem after gem appeared in front of his very eyes, at the ridiculously cheap price of half-a-pound. He grabbed them greedily, as more and more bargains leapt out at him.

"The Blue Orchids...yes! Funkadelic...yes! The Poison Girls...come here, you beauty! The Cure...yes! Rip Rig + Panic? Come to Daddy!"

There was a mountain laid on their sides, so that only their spines could be seen; he attacked it with his eyes, straining his vision to its limit.

"Aha! 'In The Beginning There Was Rhythm', a collection of new wave jazz-funk greats, including tracks by The Pop Group, Gang Of Four, A Certain Ratio, Throbbing Gristle, This Heat, 23 Skidoo, The Human League, The Slits, and Cabaret Voltaire," he read, almost having a musical orgasm.

He even saw the High Contrast 'True Colours' release, which he knew was a double album, but which was packaged in a regular-sized single CD case. The unsuspecting - and musically less savvy - library staff had failed to notice this, which meant he was going to get a double for the price of a single!

Eventually, with a pile he could barely manage, he made his way to the till. The librarian asked him:

"Do you need a bag?"

Woodson asked:

"Have you got a wheelbarrer?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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