Man Had Splitting Headache

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

image for Man Had Splitting Headache
Please stop, or allow me to die

We've all been there. A long, hard day at work, battling traffic on the way home, coming home to screaming kids, and then your tea isn't ready when you get there - it's enough to give you a splitting headache!

And that's what happened to one man in the quiet backwater of Tapon commune outside Battambang this week, when Moys Kenwood, 56, was left reeling with the Mother of all Headaches.

The source of his problem, however, was none of the above, but his near-neighbors' music - some Khmer beats, being pumped from speakers that were 6 feet tall - at a wedding party a few doors away.

From 6am on Monday morning until 10pm the same evening, the shitty excuse for 'dance music' blared into the air, and especially into the ear canal of the Englishman, whose head was now throbbing to the beat.

Eventually, and not a moment too soon, the music at the wedding party came to an abrupt halt, but, inside the hapless Kenwood's cranium, it went on, incessantly, until sleep finally knocked him out.

When he woke up this morning, the same annoying, boring droning was still going on between his ears.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more