Man Still Hasn't Got Book And CD Back From 'Friend'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 1 April 2020

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This is the bastard

A man has revealed how a book and a CD he lent a 'friend' in Bangkok in 2015, have still not been returned to him.

The book, 'The Black Game' by Ellic Howe, is an account of the activities of the Political Warfare Executive (PWE), a British wartime organisation responsible for carrying out subversive Black Operations with the main aim of undermining the Nazi war machine.

The CD was by Northampton punk outfit, 999.

The items were lent in good faith by Moys Kenwood to his fellow teacher, Joseph Steele, an American, now believed to be living in the Washington, DC area.

They were never returned.

Before Kenwood left Thailand in August 2016, he made several strenuous attempts to regain the items, but these were in vain.

Consequently, the hapless Englishman was forced to leave the country without his possessions, but, having the memory of an elephant, he has never forgotten.

Or forgiven.

Kenwood has dismissed friends' suggestions that the book and CD may simply have slipped Steele's mind, calling this "poppycock".

Speaking this morning, he said, menacingly:

"I've never forgotten. Or forgiven. And that suggestion is poppycock."

Another similar incident, in which Kenwood lent a Bill Nelson CD - which also hasn't been returned - to Jonathan Ericson of Nottingham, seems to have been allowed to rest.

"Johnny's bigger than Joe," said Kenwood.

If anyone sees Mr Steele, or knows his whereabouts, please notify Special Operations Executive (SOE) and await further instructions.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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