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Funny satire stories about Sales

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Funny story: Forgetting your car is okay

Forgetting your car is okay

Many women forget to retrieve their cars when at the Boxing Day Sales. Many of us get so addled and precoccupied , we forget we even HAD the car with us and start to hail a taxi , only to remember the SUV in the underground Car Park!! Well here's some good news : No, it's NOT the Menopause and No , it's not an elaborate bid for attention from the local yummy Coppers, because we're looking fo...

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Funny story: After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

New York City - Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton's new book "Hard Choices", has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice some who don't intend to rea...

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Funny story: McDonald's Sales Continue To Slide - The Company May Have To Lay Off Ronald McDonald

McDonald's Sales Continue To Slide - The Company May Have To Lay Off Ronald McDonald

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The latest sales reports for the McDonald's fast food chain are in and they show a downward slide trend continuing. Golden Arches spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta informed the news media that a lot of that has to do with the big a...

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Funny story: New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

New York Hot Dog Salesman Attacks Man On The Street

According to a police report, a hot dog street vendor attacked a man on the street without warning but the hot dog salesman has a different story. My date and I were walking hand-in-hand down the street when we saw the hot dog guy across the stree...

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Funny story: Marijuana Can Now Be Legally Purchased In Colorado

Marijuana Can Now Be Legally Purchased In Colorado

DENVER - Denver Police Officer Burton Onionwood [Badge #90903] said that he has been a member of the DPD for 27 years and he has never seen a happier bunch of people as those he saw today waiting in line outside pot stores. Effective at 12:01 a.m.

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Funny story: Denver's Mile-High City Two Miles High on First Day of Marijuana Sales

Denver's Mile-High City Two Miles High on First Day of Marijuana Sales

There were lots of lines around some stores in Denver on the first day of legal pot sales and it's obvious that it's going to help this city's economy. Mayor: We need to set a good example here, citizens of Denver, Colorado! Let's show the rest of...

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Funny story: Runaway Sale at Local Consignment Center--or not

Runaway Sale at Local Consignment Center--or not

Consignment centers all over Louisville experienced what one businessman said was the "anti Target" effect. Customers infuriated with Target's inability to safeguard their data, even though they became expert at guessing when a woman was goin...

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Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...

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Funny story: 17 States Ban Black Friday

17 States Ban Black Friday

CHICAGO - The Committee Overseeing Shoppers Actions, known as COSA, has just issued a press release which will pertain to Black Friday, starting in 2013. Anastasia "Salsa" Lightmiggle 42, national director of COSA, stated that due to the ever-grow...

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Funny story: GMC Automobile Executives Meet to Discuss Falling Small Car Sales

GMC Automobile Executives Meet to Discuss Falling Small Car Sales

Detroit MI: Government Motors Corporation (GMC) automobile executives met to review the lackluster sales of their new environmentally friendly Shoebox line of cars, prior to next week's annual stockholders meeting. Present at the closed door wor...

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Funny story: The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

The Attorney For The Department Store 'Black Friday Pepper Sprayer' States That Her Can of Pepper Spray Just Went Off Accidentally

PORTER RANCH, California - Mikey Champ is the attorney representing the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer who has now been identified by the entire U.S. news media as Elizabeth "Lizzy" Macias, 32. Macias, who describes herself as a devoted shop...

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Funny story: Italy To Sell Off National Treasures In New Debt Management Strategy

Italy To Sell Off National Treasures In New Debt Management Strategy

Following its credit rating downgrade, the Italian government has voted to sell off a number of national treasures, in order to reduce the nation's budget deficit. In an emotional and at times heated debate in the Italian parliament building in Ro...

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Funny story: Junk on Sale at Wal-Mart

Junk on Sale at Wal-Mart

Bentonville, AK - Wal-Mart announced their largest junk sale of the season. The hope is that the sale will help them reach a sales goal of $150 billion in sales for this quarter. "We love our products for their short life span and cheap prices."...

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Funny story: Eight out of Ten Cats is the same as Four out of Five

Eight out of Ten Cats is the same as Four out of Five

Advertising Watchdog, OffWatch, are to clamp down on misleading statistics in British Adverts, as they are being used to increasingly baffle UK consumers. Claims such as "Up to 8Meg Broadband" and "87% of Women" are to be scrapped, and simpler, mo...

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Funny story: Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread. LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...

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Funny story: Wal Mart Reporting Lower Than Expected Sales

Wal Mart Reporting Lower Than Expected Sales

Wal Mart reported lower than expected sales for the Christmas season. They blame Democrats and 'political correctness' for all their woes. 'Economy, schmomony', said Walt Dimwitty, chief financial analyst for Wal Mart. 'The problem is with those d...

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Funny story: DFS To End Sale In Shock Announcement.

DFS To End Sale In Shock Announcement.

DFS have today revealed that their sale is going to end in a surprise announcement. The sale, which has been running for the last 63 years and has made the company famous for it's TV commercials, has become a British institution. Pablo Von Maus...

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