Nashville Woman Encouraged to Learn Obesity Alone Does Not Appear to Increase Risk for COVID-19 Mortality

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

image for Nashville Woman Encouraged to Learn Obesity Alone Does Not Appear to Increase Risk for COVID-19 Mortality
As someone who’s only prediabetic, Meghan Cantwell feels good about her prospects of surviving COVID-19 if she gets infected.

Given that almost all of those who die from COVID-19 have at least one comorbidity factor like hypertension or diabetes, self-describedly “curvy” Meghan Cantwell of Nashville, Tennessee, was extremely encouraged to learn that some research suggests that obesity alone, without an additional accompanying risk factor, does not seem to raise the risk of coronavirus death.

“That information came as such a relief,” said 33-year-old Meghan, who recently learned that her cousin Donald in Kentucky has tested positive for COVID-19. “Thanks to medication, my blood pressure is perfect. And at this point I’m only prediabetic, so I should be good.”

Even so, said Meghan, just to be safe, she has been steadfastly quarantining herself at home, and dons a face mask and gloves on the few occasions she’s been required to go outside, such as to check the mail. “Donald sometimes sends me postcards from Kentucky, and there’s no telling how long the virus can last on glossy surfaces,” she noted.

The bottom line, says Meghan, is that the panic over COVID-19 has brought home to her that, more than anything, her health must come first. "Pandemics like this are a great time to reevaluate priorities," she said. "Even after this is over, I plan to keep having my food delivered and continue in my other healthy habits."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more