Nashville Man Secretly Suspects Friend of Having COVID-19

Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 18 March 2020

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The experience of having a close friend possibly having COVID-19 has brought home to Ned Hanson the transience of life.

After his longtime pal Lance Wilson, unexpectedly bailed on their weekly poker game, and, several days later, was heard coughing, Ned Hanson of Nashville, Tennessee, put two and two together, and came up with ... coronavirus.

“I’m not one to judge," said Hanson, "but the writing's on the wall - and I can read: COVID-19."

Not wanting to humiliate his buddy, however, Hanson has decided not to press the issue with Wilson - for now. "He'll talk when he's ready," said Hanson. "I'm here for him whenever that happens."

Hanson emphasized that his admiration and respect for Wilson has skyrocketed as a result of how his 34-year-old buddy has handled the COVID-19 crisis. "Not only has he not complained, but he even willingly missed our weekly card game - where he just about always cleans up - just to avoid infecting his pals," said Hanson. "Now, that's true friendship. I only hope that if I get coronavirus, I conduct myself even half as honorably."

Hanson noted that he’d emailed Wilson offering to drop off groceries and cleaning supplies on his doorstep. “I was also going to ask if he wanted me to try to scope out some surgeons’ masks, in case he ever wanted to go out in public, but I didn’t want to give away that I'd caught on to what was going on with him," said Hanson. "What I may do, is just have a couple anonymously delivered to his house.”

All told, Hanson says that this experience of having a close friend possibly suffering from COVID-19 has given him a new perspective on life in general. “It’s really brought home to me the transience of our existence, and also the power of friendship,” he said.

Hanson went on to express his hope that, with proper rest, self-care, and, if necessary, medical treatment, Wilson will, at some point, be able to return to their weekly poker game. "I truly believe it can happen," he said. "If anyone can kick this thing, it's Lance."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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