Queen Says Liverpool Must Be Handed Premier League Title

Written by Mister Meaner

Saturday, 21 March 2020

image for Queen Says Liverpool Must Be Handed Premier League Title
The Queen stood in front of some trees earlier

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has waded into the row over whether or not Liverpool Football Club should be handed the Premier League title before the league season is actually over.

The PL programme has been temporarily shut down due to fears over the spread of the Coronavirus, with the Reds needing only two victories from their last nine games to secure their first top flight success in 30 years.

The Queen said:

"They've run the other teams ragged this season. The PL should stop pussyfooting around, and hand them the title now."

Her Majesty is a big football fan, and is known to follow the fortunes of QPR, for reasons that are unclear. Under normal circumstances, she watches games on Sky TV most evenings, and thinks the enforced break due to the Coronavirus is "a bloody nuisance".

Prince Philip prefers watching darts and porn films.

He said:

"Isn't that Liverpool chappie a bloody German?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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