It's been announced that the end of the world is nigh, and that, from Friday night at 11pm, all electricity, gas, and water supplies around the world will be disconnected.
At the heart of the matter is the Coronavirus, airborne bacteria that cause extreme respiratory problems, occasionally resulting in death, but, most often, just in sniffles and a cough. Maybe a headache.
In desperate attempts to delay the spread of the virus until a vaccine has been developed, many events that attracted mass gatherings of people have been cancelled, and many infrastructure organisations and services closed. These include:
SPORT
The entire Football schedule throughout Europe
The NBA basketball schedule
The US Masters Golf
The Tokyo Olympic Games
The Formula One Motor Racing schedule
POLITICS
The US Presidential Election in November
Sensible government decisions of any kind
WORK
No further explanation necessary
EDUCATION
Schools, colleges, and universities
RETAIL OUTLETS
All shops, stores and supermarkets. Even 7Elevens
TRANSPORTATION
All bus, train, air and sea services
To boot, electricity, gas, and water supplies will cease, and all hospitals will close. There will be no assistance available, should you become ill.
Please do not leave your homes. If anyone is discovered outdoors, they will be shot by a special Genocide Squad.
Government advice is that you should finish reading this message, make yourself a cup of strong cocoa, go to bed, and stay there, indefinitely.
Remember to pull the covers up right over your head.
