Trump: The NHS Is Safe

Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

image for Trump: The NHS Is Safe
Mam please don't do me like you did Diana

If you’re wondering why a chill has just ran down the backs of all the female members of your family, wonder no more! Dementia-ridden reality TV star turned president, Donald Trump, is in the UK! As usual Donald has had plenty to shout about as he makes his way round the UK.

Donald has tried to allay fears that his administration would demand access to the NHS before any trade deal between the UK and USA can be struck. The Don said:

"I like the NHS, like it a lot. It’s great, so great, but do we want it? No. No. No. We have a great healthcare system, the best, so we don’t need the NHS. I can assure you we aren’t looking at dealing with the NHS."

Mr Trump is known for his 100% truthful and accurate statements, so anyone with a life-limiting illness will sleep easier tonight. Mr Trump also used the opportunity to distance himself from the “Prince Andrew Is A Sex Offender” scandal that is rocking the UK like a clock in the fifties (we’re not entirely sure this bit works, but we were low on our word count so kept it) by saying that “he’d never met the Prince” and “what is a Prince?”

A tiny problem with Don's statement being the dozen or so photographs that show the president walking along with the prince during his last visit. Also, the little fact of a photo turning up that puts the prince, Donald and paedophile superboss, Jeffrey Epstein, all at the same party!

To be fair to Donald and the prince, we at Back and to the Left news often attend parties and visit the houses of people we don't know, although they do often end up with us getting arrested for trespassing.

But we’re all sure that Donald and Andrew are telling the utter truth, and that our NHS, our daughters and anything else their wandering eyes land on are safe. We hope.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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