Kiss-a-thon at G-7 could lead to more sanctions and tariffs

Written by joseph k winter

Monday, 26 August 2019

image for Kiss-a-thon at G-7 could lead to more sanctions and tariffs
Mr. Trump: "Look, I'm cool, all right? But Trudeau? No way he's coming to The White House and staying overnight."

The G-7 summit in Biarritz, France, over the weekend has led to increasing tensions in global economics.

Particularly in play is a sensational moment involving Melania Trump and Canada’s prime minister, Justin Trudeau.

Photographs reveal Ms. Trump with eyes closed and a look of longing, as Mr. Trudeau leans forward to plant a smooch.

Mr. Trump stands by with slanted eyes, apparently growling.

Mr. Trump soon responded that Mr. Trudeau was no longer welcome at The White House, and could face sanctions preventing him from flying into the United States.

Canadian tankers loaded with oil could be at risk of being captured and sequestered.

Meanwhile, the kiss planted on the President's cheek by First Lady of France, Brigitte Macron, did nothing to raise Mr. Trump’s satisfactions.

“I usually rise to the occasion, as is well known,” the President stated. “But frankly this time left me a little limp.”

Possibly also annoying was that Mr. Macron stood by grinning with satisfaction that his wife had bestowed “a traditional wet greeting on the visiting president’s cheek.”

Perhaps worst (although debate continues), with eyes closed, Mr. Trump was discovered planting a kiss--which went astray--on Germany’s Angela Merkel.

Her eyes are wide open and his should have been, a perhaps telling indication of the difference in secret passions behind these actions--when compared with Melania and Mr. Trudeau.

Mr. Trump’s kiss honed in on the wrong target—Ms. Merkel’s nose.

“Look, I don’t blame her. I shifted my footing, which, as you know, is a favorite tactic of mine. Look at my strategies with the Chinese.”

The result?

“Well, I’d rather not say, apart from German perfume and powder, you know, is not up to US standards.”

Additional to all this sensational development at the summit, we must also report there is NO confirmation that Mr. Trump and Mr. Johnson were caught smooching at one point.

White House press secretary, Stephanie Grisham:

“A bromance does not necessarily mean, you know, what twitter and the fake press make of it, as with hand-holding, etc.”

“It could—we need to keep in mind relations with North Korea as the model—but not always.”

“And with Vladimir—well, that has cooled at this time.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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