In order to hide from the advances of Donald Trump, INTERPOL has discussed entering the country of Greenland into a witness protection program to hide the entire country from President Trump.
"It has never been tried before, of course, but we feel we have the technology to disguise Greenland via transmissions that will alter satellite imagery of her, thereby making Greenland appear to be nothing but open ocean, or a group of whales, for instance. Quite simply, we will make Greenland invisible to American spy and other satellites with cameras etc, including the international space station."
People in the streets of Nuuk, the capital of Greenland, were asked if they felt threatened enough by the potential sale of Greenland to warrant hiding it. "Can't say I fancy being hidden," said Oren Sorenson. "I rather like being seen by the international space statio. It makes one feel like a celeb, don't it? I honestly don't know who Donald Trump is, as the telly has been broken for the last couple of years."