Man Took Family On Bamboo Train Ride, And Nearly Shit His Load

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 20 May 2019

image for Man Took Family On Bamboo Train Ride, And Nearly Shit His Load
Health and Safety was not uppermost in the creators' minds

A man who took his family to a tourist attraction which had its own miniature Bamboo Train, decided to give it a try, and nearly shat his pants.

The location was about 45 minutes from Battambang town center, but the dilapidated Tuk Tuk that took Moys Kenwood and his family there made each one of those minutes feel like an hour.

If the Tuk Tuk was uncomfortable, worse was yet to come.

Once at the resort, the family ate and drank, then made for the train. Around twelve feet long and six feet wide, the bamboo base was furnished with two black sofas, and a metal bar at the back for the train's 'operator'. A metal frame tentatively held the whole thing in place.

The journey commenced, and the train gradually picked up speed. It curved round corners, bent into bends, and shot through clearings in the trees. The scenery was idyllic: open grassland on one side of the tracks, the sheer face of a mountainside on the other. The rickety 'wheeled-platform' rushed along the almost-safe rails at an ever-increasing rate. There were no seatbelts; the only way to remain on the 'train' was by will power. Health and safety did not seem to have been of primary concern at the developmental stage.

As the 'bamboo on wheels' rounded a sharp bend rather too quickly, everyone felt the wheels lift above the rails, and Kenwood felt something poke out from his bum into his underpants. The sensation lasted several seconds, before the wheels righted themselves, as did the brown torpedo.

Two days later, when his wife was preparing to do the laundry, she asked him about the skidmark on his underpants. He replied:

"Bamboo train."

She nodded, perhaps recalling something about her own underwear.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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