Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 22 May 2019

image for Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To
600billion Asians can't be wrong...

After years of thinking of rice as a bland, almost-tasteless part of a meal, one man has found that he now has a keen enthusiasm for it, and eats it at least three times in every seven-day period.

Moys Kenwood, 55, once thought of rice as a sticky, starchy addition to 'chicken and cashew nuts' or 'beef and green peppers', or 'minced pork with bamboo and water chestnuts', and could easily have done without it, but that's all changed.

Said Kenwood:

"I don't want to sound narcissistic or anything, but I didn't used to like rice. I found it bland, almost-tasteless, and something that just tended to fill up my tum-tum, and leave me feeling bloated after I'd finished eating."

Now, however:

"I've come around to it. It's grown on me. Eating chips every night was fine for the first couple of years but you can't survive on chips forever! I gave rice another try, another chance, if you will, and it seemed less stodgy than before, so I've stuck with it - I've even moved on to brown rice now because it's supposed to be good for helping with the bowel movements!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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