A man, sat minding his own business, and not being a bother to anybody, was the victim of a bloody attack last night, and was forced to carry out an execution. Moys Kenwood, 55, was sitting in his chair, typing out a spoof story on his telephone,...
NEW YORK CITY - Cheryl Cole visited the Big Apple to see about a shoe modeling opportunity that she had been offered. The English singer has been keeping a bit of a low profile since she left America after getting dumped from Simon Cowell's X-Fact...
Scientists from Harvard and Boston have announced a potential breakthrough in the fight against malaria. This has resulted in yet another 'proof' of 'evolution' being consigned to a toilet which is by now needing a good rodding out. Scientists...
Bethesda Maryland - Dr. Whineez, of a secret lab here, believes he is able to change the DNA of wild mosquitoes in order to end malaria. In his lab, he made a gene invade an entire controlled population of mosquitoes, by just starting with one 'in...
One-dimensional pseudo-actor George Clooney announced that he contracted "malaria" while visiting Africa earlier in January to lend his support to a referendum on The Sudan's law banning the kind of activity that can cause one to contract "malaria",...
Word this past week was that actor George Clooney had gotten malaria from being in the Sudan recently, but now some insiders are saying that it's much worse. "He looks like he's lost a lot of weight and acted strange during a recent appearance", s...
A High Court judge has lifted a so-called "super injunction" obtained by the Chelsea footballer Didier Drogba and the media have been given the all clear to publish the sensational details. Cheryl Cole's ex husband Ashley Cole is said to be fuming...
Taipei - (Deep Throat News): The pesky gnat that caused so much trouble to the UK national treasure finally met its match yesterday. China Television Co anchor Huang Ching had just been reading an update on Ms Cole's malaria recovery when her pret...
Some English girl, who apparently had more #1 hits than the Beatles while in the band "Spice Girls 2.0" may never be able to speak again, after contracting malaria through a surgical scar in her most-recent nose, while trying to infect the citizery o...
Cheryl Cole might have thought she had been through a lot lately, but the bout of malaria she contracted during her African Safari paled into insignificance yesterday, after her hair fell out. Cole, who was in Tanzania when she was bitten by a mal...
London - (The Sting): London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine quacks treating Cheryl Cole's malaria have ordered an autopsy after a dead mosquito was found in the singer's knickers. The insect's last meal is suspected to have been a succule...
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