Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 13 March 2019

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Colditz opens its doors to Cardinal Pest

Cardinal George Pell, the sex beast, has been sentenced to six years in prison for the sexual assaults he carried out on two 13-year-old choir boys in Melbourne in 1996, and will now be locked away so that he might reflect on the pain he caused his victims.

Cardinal Pell will reflect on the pain at Colditz Castle.

Religious blokes like Pell like to teach about kindness, caring for others, and careful consideration before our actions, and he, himself, is now going to have a chance to slurp on his own sick medicine as he rots away in the former prison camp where so many Allied soldiers were held during the Second World War.

Cardinal Pell likes being held.

Indeed, there is no shortage of speculation about, that the 77-year-old cardinal may be treated to a regular helping of unwanted other men's creamy-white 'sick medicine' every time the sex pest uses the toilet or showers, but this is, of course, as yet unconfirmed.

It is to be hoped that conditions at Colditz have improved since 1945, otherwise it might prove uncomfortable for Cardinal Pest. Er, I mean 'Pell'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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