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Funny satire stories about Sexual abuse

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Funny story: Harvey Weinstein Fondles Cellmate's Testicles

Harvey Weinstein Fondles Cellmate's Testicles

Harvey Weinstein, the former Hollywood movie producer who, on Monday, was convicted of rape and sexual assault at his trial in New York City, and now faces up to 25 years in jail, has already landed himself in hot water after allegedly fondling the t...

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Funny story: Ghislaine Maxwell Spotted In Fish Shop

Ghislaine Maxwell Spotted In Fish Shop

A woman answering the description of Prince Andrew's friend, and former financier, Jeffrey Epstein's girlfriend, Ghislaine Maxwell, has been seen in a fish-and-chip shop in the Old Kent Road, sparking a large hunt. Or womanhunt. Maxwell is the wom...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Has Decided To Go And Live On Pitcairn Island

Prince Andrew Has Decided To Go And Live On Pitcairn Island

Prince Andrew, the poor, beleaguered member of the Royal family who the media just won't leave alone after he indulged in 'a bit of the old in-out' with an underaged American girl in 2001, has decided that enough is enough, and that he will leave Lon...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew To Do Second TV Interview

Prince Andrew To Do Second TV Interview

Prince Andrew, fresh from his BBC Newsnight interview with Emily Maitlis that some have compared to a "car crash" and even "an articulated lorry crash", has decided to do another TV interview to "put the record straight". He will be grilled by Con...

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Funny story: Jeffrey Epstein 'Suicide Watch' Explained

Jeffrey Epstein 'Suicide Watch' Explained

Following intense criticism of the US prison authorities for allowing disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein to take his own life in his cell, even after having been on a Suicide Watch, the warden at the facility has spoken out to explain what a 'Suicid...

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Funny story: All Bill Cosby's Fellow Prisoners Have Escaped

All Bill Cosby's Fellow Prisoners Have Escaped

Prison officials at the facility where former comedian Bill Cosby is currently incarcerated say there has been a mass breakout, and that the only person now left 'in custody', is the man who used to play Dr. Huxtable. Guards coming on duty this mo...

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Funny story: Stranger Things No Longer Happening At Sea, Says Report

Stranger Things No Longer Happening At Sea, Says Report

Results of a new survey seem to show that, contrary to the old adage that 'stranger things happen at sea', life on the ocean waves has become largely regularised, and odd, weird and uncanny things rarely happen there anymore. In the dim and distan...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal George Pell, the sex beast, has been sentenced to six years in prison for the sexual assaults he carried out on two 13-year-old choir boys in Melbourne in 1996, and will now be locked away so that he might reflect on the pain he caused his v...

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Funny story: R Kelly Reckons He Can Fly

R Kelly Reckons He Can Fly

Pop musician, R Kelly, currently at the center of an underage sex scandal, has today been undergoing psychiatric tests as a consequence of his repeated insistence of his belief that he can fly. Kelly was charged with ten counts of aggravated crimi...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell, the 77-year-old sex offender, and former treasurer at the Vatican, has been remanded in custody for his own protection, after crowds gathered outside the courthouse in Melbourne. The demonstrators were threatening to do things to hi...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal George Pell and his sexual abuse case have attracted a lot of media attention, and it is with this in mind that I've written the latest in my proposed 'Cardinal Pell Anthology'. This one is called 'Cardinal Pell Is Going Down' Cardina...

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Funny story: A Poem For Cardinal Pell

A Poem For Cardinal Pell

I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...

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Funny story: Don’t Worry About Missing Sex Files, Pope Is Told, Bob Mueller Has A Copy

Don’t Worry About Missing Sex Files, Pope Is Told, Bob Mueller Has A Copy

Rome, Italy - (Reuters): “Phew, Your Eminence,” the Pontifical Attorney for the Holy Spanish Inquisition said today as a Vatican conference on sex abuse ‘laughed itself silly’ on hearing the Pope’s predecessors had systematically destroyed abuse arc...

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Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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Funny story: Sexual Abuse Still Topping The List Of Abuses

Sexual Abuse Still Topping The List Of Abuses

They say that some things never change, and that certainly seems to be the case with 'abuse', which, a study has found, that, for the seventh year running, Sexual Abuse still tops the list of popular abuses. Reported crime involving sexual abuse a...

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Funny story: Commonwealth Games Shock as England Tiddlywinks Player Is Sent Home

Commonwealth Games Shock as England Tiddlywinks Player Is Sent Home

In a hastily convened press conference at the Commonwealth Gold Coast games today, the Me Too Movement, assisted by Femen activists, told how they had been investigating a catalogue of abuse by English number one tiddlywinker and Balham’s former “art...

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Funny story: Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

Pope considering nuking Australia over Cardinal Pells phedophilia charges

In a highly secret meeting, the Pope was said to be outraged at the latest pedophile scandal to hit the church, demanding to know why Pell didn't mop this up before he left Australia. It seems time and his track record of deceit and outrage agains...

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